“First, you shall soon be a duchess yourself, and as soon as this nonsense with Phoebe’s…” Diana glanced over her shoulder into her dressing room, where Phoebe had become distracted performing a wedding with her dolls. She whispered, “Phoebe’s motheris resolved, you will not have to borrow anything. I’m sure Kit will provide well for you.”
Sarah had no doubt that would be true. Kit was too honorable a man to do anything but provide well for his wife and any family they had in the future. Only as time went by, as the threat to Phoebe was finally resolved, she feared he would resent this decision made in desperation. When passions faded, both those emotional and physical, he might not want her anymore.
“He doesn’t love me,” she said out loud, though quietly so Phoebe wouldn’t hear.
Diana stopped fussing with her hem and straightened to look at her in the reflection of the mirror. “Kit?”
Sarah nodded, and the tears filled her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time in this emotional, difficult day.
Diana hugged her gently. “It must hurt to believe that is true.”
Sarah wiped her tears with a shake of her head. “Itistrue. He wants me, there is no doubt about that. He likes me, despite the person I am or he once believed me to be. But he doesn’t love me.”
Diana was quiet a moment, then motioned Sarah to the chairs before the fire. When she sat, there was a quiet sadness to her that Sarah had never seen in her before. Diana’s own eyes filled with tears. “You know, I once thought that of Lucas, too. That he didn’t love me. That he couldn’t. It was one of the worst times of my life. I almost gave up on him entirely.”
Sarah’s lips parted. “But it is evident that hedoeslove you.”
“To distraction,” Diana agreed with a tiny smile. “But I couldn’t see it at the time. Others sensed it more. The same is true with you, though I know my saying that won’t change your feelings.”
Sarah sat there a moment, digesting Diana’s suggestion that she merely couldn’t see the truth. There was a hope that flared in her chest at the thought. Dangerous hope that could only lead to more pain if it was proven unfounded in the future.
“You think he…cares?” she asked, unable to ask for more.
“I do,” Diana said gently. “I see him watch you. I see him come to you for comfort in his fear or his grief, even when he has his brothers around him. It’s still you he seeks in those worst moments.”
Sarah considered that. She’d thought that Kit had begun turning to her because they shared the loss of a parent they’d loved. But she knew several of his friends had loved their fathers, their mothers.
“I suppose it is…somethingthat he would want my advice or solace,” she said.
Diana nodded. “Is this ideal, this marriage in haste to protect Phoebe? Of course not. But it is not the end of the story. It is only the beginning.”
“I hope so,” Sarah breathed as some of her anxiety dissipated and it felt like she could draw a full breath again. “I truly do.”
Diana tilted her head. “Because you love him.”
Sarah ducked her gaze away. She hadn’t said those words out loud, not even to Isabel, who she loved like a sister. It had felt too dangerous. But now she couldn’t deny her heart.
“Yes. I do love him.”
Diana smiled. “Then the best advice I can give you is to keep fighting for that love. It is worth it in the end. So don’t give up.”
Diana squeezed her hand, then got up and moved toward the adjoining room. “Phoebe, come and look at how pretty Sarah looks. Do you think this will make a lovely wedding dress?”
Sarah stood and smiled as Phoebe set aside her dolls and came in to look at her with wide, excited eyes. But even as the two cooed and giggled over her, she couldn’t help but think about what Diana had said.
It was time to fight for what she wanted. Fight for Kit. Fight for Phoebe. Fight for the family she wanted and the life she deserved when the drama had passed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sarah had no idea what Kit had said to the magistrate or how much he’d paid the man, but when he’d returned the night before, he had come with a special license. And now as late morning of the next day spread surprisingly warm sunshine across the long path leading from the garden, Sarah had to adjust to the idea that tomorrow she would be Duchess of Kingsacre.
Kit’s wife.
It wasn’t that much had changed otherwise. She was still sleeping in the governess’s chamber, mostly because she had her things there and it seemed silly to make someone move all of it not once, but twice in such short order.
So life remained much the same. Except that Kit stared at her far more intently, and when he’d kissed her goodnight it had contained so much more promise than ever before.
She smiled at the thought and then forced herself to focus on the matters at hand. She and Phoebe were taking a walk around the property, given permission to do so after Lucas had reported it appeared Hannah Beckett had departed the shire directly after their unpleasant encounter the day before. Sarah was under no illusion that the woman was finished with whatever her plans required, but at least she could breathe easier knowing Hannah was no longer around at present.
