Robert pursed his lips. “Just doomed them, at least briefly, thanks to his bad debts.”
“It’s not the same as Graham’s father, though. Or James’s. Or yours. Does being here make you think of him?”
Robert stared into the flames for a moment. “I hadn’t spoken to him for so long when he died. I had written him out of my life, thought I’d let it go, though I obviously hadn’t. I suppose I think of him fleetingly, but I think more about how far we’ve all come from our bad beginnings. Graham is a perfect example. His father abused him, far more than I think any of us was aware. And yet he is so gentle and loving to Maddie. She lights up his world.”
Kit smiled at the images his friend’s words conjured. “Yes, the problems of the past do seem to have faded considerably for our friends. And I know that as time passes, I will think of my father with great fondness. Those memories will no longer sting, but make me smile.”
“I think that’s true. Certainly I can think of ten stories of your father’s kindness that make me smile,” Robert said. “He was as close to a father as many of us had.”
“I do wish he were here to offer me advice.” Kit frowned.
Robert leaned farther forward. “Problems? Perhaps I can help. Is it the estate?”
Kit snorted. “No, he ran that like clockwork. It’s so well organized that Ewan tells me I could run away for a year and the legacy wouldn’t suffer in the slightest.”
Robert’s brow wrinkled. “Phoebe then?”
“Certainly I would love him to be here to help me with any challenges she’ll face. She is a spark and she does love to find dry tinder. I’m sure I will have many a gray hair from her spitfire ways in the years to come. But I know how to love her, I think. And that’s not something I need my father to tell me.”
Robert’s expression softened. “I’m glad you realize that. I watch you with her, you know. She adores you. She’s in her own grief at present, but she has a good heart and I know you will be the best brother and father she could hope for.”
Kit drew in a long breath. “I will try.”
“So if it isn’t your legacy that troubles you, nor your sister…then I can think of only one other thing.” Now Robert’s eyes sparkled like he knew some secret.
Kit’s heart sank. His friend had always been too talented at seeing the wicked where it lived. “And what is that?” he asked weakly.
“When Sarah Carlton came into the breakfast room this morning, I saw you light up like a candelabra. So my deductive skills tell me that perhaps your worries have less to do with serious, important endeavors and more to do with…feelingsyou are trying to avoid. And I don’t mean hearts and flowers feelings. I meandesires, Kit.”
Kit pushed to his feet and slugged back half his untouched scotch before he muttered, “Jesus.”
Robert chuckled as he settled back in his chair and crossed one ankle over the other. “This is me, you know. Biggest libertine in London.”
“Formerly,” Kit added.
“Proudformertitle holder,” Robert corrected. “I see all, I know all. So talk.”
Kit paced away. His mind was split in two on this subject. Part of him wanted to ignore Robert’s pressing, to keep the tangled subject of Sarah and his desires for her to himself. But the other part, the part that felt desperate and confused, knew he needed to speak to someone about it. And Robert was the best choice, given the very past they’d just been teasing each other about.
He cleared his throat, turned to face his friend and leaned back against the edge of the sideboard. “We’ve had a fraught relationship,” he began.
Robert blinked. “Ah yes, the night with…Charlotte?”
“Meg,” Kit correct.
Robert nodded. “Oh yes, yes, Sarah was mixed up in that mess with Meg and Simon and Graham what feels like ten lifetimes ago. You’ve been holdingthatagainst her?”
Kit pursed his lips. “Yes, that was the same tone of voice Meg used when she confronted me about it right before Phoebe’s boat capsized and everything went to hell. She chastised me for my attitude toward Sarah. And she said something else, and I’m going to admit to you now that it has stuck in my head ever since.”
“What did she say?”
Kit scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll regret telling you this, I’m sure. She said…she said that the reason I was so angry over Sarah’s impertinence had nothing to do with her being impolite to Meg.”
“What does she think it had to do with?” Robert asked.
“She thinks I was jealous that Sarah was hoping for a future with Simon.”
Robert’s eyes widened and he stared at Kit for a moment. Then he shrugged one shoulder. “Actually, that makes sense.”
