The tears Sarah had been willing away collected again and one slid down her cheek. “If there is ever anything I could ever do to repay you—”
He shook his head. “Live a happy life, Sarah. That is all I would wish.”
Sarah blinked at the unfettered kindness of the man who had breathed her back into existence. She nodded slowly. “I’ll try.” Turning away, she smiled at Isabel. “A walk in the garden, yes?”
Isabel wiped at one of her own tears and then reached out to take her arm. “I cannot wait.”
Chapter Ten
Kit couldn’t help himself. As Sarah swept from the room on Isabel’s arm, their heads close together, whispering like the old friends they were, his heart swelled with pleasure. He’d wanted to give her a carefree day of fun after the nightmare of the previous afternoon. He knew the idea created conflicting feelings in her. Sarah was obviously aware of her new place, wanted to stay within its confines. And yet she was acquainted with his friends, clearly missed those old days when her life had been more relaxed.
That she had accepted the offer, even after hesitation, made him happy.
“Kit?”
He glanced down to find Phoebe reaching for his hand. When she took it, she was solemn, indeed. “Yes, what is it?” he asked before he crouched to her level.
“If Sarah is a lady again, does that mean she’ll go away?”
Kit tensed at the question and the image his sister had created in her misunderstanding. Sarah gone. He caught his breath. “No, sweetheart, Sarah is still your governess. Because she was so brave yesterday in saving you, we are giving her a special day. Do you understand?”
“So she won’t be a lady tomorrow?” Phoebe asked, brow wrinkling.
He shook his head. “Sarah will always be a lady. That cannot be changed by a job she holds or a life she leads. But she will be with you, taking care of you. Today, though, we’re going to be extra careful and kind to her.”
Phoebe seemed to understand that explanation and nodded slowly. “I’ll be extra kind. Do you think she’d like a picture?”
Meg had begun to approach with some of the other duchesses. She said, “I think she would love that. Will you help some of the other children and perhaps we can draw her something together?”
Of course Phoebe’s eyes lit up—she never turned down an opportunity to corral and rule the other, smaller children. “Yes!” she said, and let go of Kit’s hand to race off with the young children toward the playroom upstairs, their mothers and aunts in tow.
Kit stretched his back as he got to his feet once she was gone. It meant a great deal to him how much Phoebe loved Sarah. In just a few months, Sarah had forged a strong bond with his sister. Strong enough that she would die for her.
He shuddered and glanced toward the door where she and Isabel had departed a few moments before. He could picture every line of her face, every curve of her body, and it was entirely disconcerting.
The other dukes were milling about, talking about billiards or rides on the estate. Ewan was writing furiously in his notebook as Matthew read over his shoulder with a solemn expression. For the first time in a long time, Kit didn’t feel he…fit. He was in a very different place than all his friends, after all. And in his grief over his father and his confusion over Sarah, he suddenly didn’t feel as comfortable in the knowledge of who he was.
“Kit, you look a man in need of an escape.” The Duke of Roseford clapped him on the shoulder as he said the words.
Kit smiled. Although they were almost polar opposites in their attitudes, he had always adored his wild friend. But even Robert had settled down, marrying his wife Katherine just six months before and then taking off on a whirlwind tour of the continent with her. They had only returned as Kit’s father grew closer to death.
“If anyone knows that look, it’s you,” Kit chuckled as he slung an arm around his old friend.
Robert grinned. “Ah, not so much anymore. I’m becoming more and more accustomed to being still. Or at least settled. I highly recommend it.” Kit’s smile fell, and as it did, so did Robert’s. His friend leaned a little closer. “To the study,” he said, grabbing Kit’s arm and all but dragging him from the room.
Kit allowed it, following Robert to the big, wood paneled room where his father had ruled over his family and lands until the final weeks of his life. He flinched as Robert shut the door behind them. It still looked like his father. It still smelled like him.
And the grief hit him like a quarter horse that had gotten free of its reins. He gripped the back of the chair in front of the fire and tried to breathe through it.
Robert tilted his head and crossed to pour them each a scotch. As he brought the glasses back and pointed Kit toward the chair he was leaning on, he said, “It’s too early for this, but everyone will blame me for that, not you.”
Kit took the drink and the seat and stared into the fire without seeing it. “Everyone is too busy tiptoeing around to blame me for anything.”
Robert took his own place and set his drink on the table between them without taking a sip. “Your father has not been dead a week, Kit. You deserve a little tiptoeing still. I’m certain one or more of us will make you aware if you become insufferable. I wish I could say I understood your pain.”
Kit glanced at his friend to find Robert’s expression pulled down. He saw a glimpse of the old Robert in his look, and the pain behind all his bad behavior over the years. Katherine had helped him with that. Helped him overcome the past and now he had a bright future ahead of him.
“I fear I had one of the only good men as father,” Kit said. “Matthew’s father being the other. Baldwin’s insomuch that he didn’tpurposefullyharm his family.”
