“Yes. I want you to come with me. To continue helping me there as you have here.”
She drew back, her hands dropping away. “You want me to come to your home in London. Your ducal home. As what? Your servant? Your physician? Your—your lover?”
He sighed. “That is part of what we must determine. If you came to my estate here in the city, it wouldn’t be like it is here on the edge of the city. People would see. They would know, Diana. I could protect you from many things, but not gossip. Stalwood could arrange for some kind of chaperone, of course. Someone to make it look less untoward, but—”
“I don’t want a governess,” she said. “That would make my work harder.” She got up, pushing past him to pace across the room. She paused at the window where she looked down at the garden.
“Then what do you suggest?” he asked.
“My being there would help you,” she whispered.
He pulled himself into the chair she had vacated and nodded. “Yes. I am much recovered in the time we’ve spent together. And to be honest, I would feel more comfortable having you close. I have no idea who this person is. I have no idea what he knows about your father. About you. But I don’t like the idea of your being alone until he’s in custody or dead.”
She flinched, as if she hadn’t thought through the possibilities of what would happen to the man responsible for all this pain that had come into their lives.
“Your mistress,” she said softly.
He jolted as he looked at her. “I beg your pardon?”
She faced him. “The way I will have most access to you, Lucas, is if we call me what I am. That is, your mistress.”
“You are not my mistress!” he burst out, moving toward her so quickly that he nearly fell over from the sudden movement and the pain that followed.
“You are bedding me,” she said, keeping her gaze even. “That is what a man of your stature does with a mistress.”
“That kind of suggestion would utterly ruin your future,” he snapped.
She tilted her head back and laughed, though there was no hint of pleasure in the sound. “Dear man, what future do you assume I have? I am the daughter of a man of no title, no fortune, hardly anything to recommend him. I am no virgin. I bring nothing to the table for marriage to a man of rank or privilege. Even if I did, I have no such desire for that kind of match. Or any type of match, really. I was spoiled to that sort of thing long ago.”
Lucas stared at her. She was talking about that man, that spy who had taken her innocence.Hewas the one who had spoiled her to the thought of love or family or a future that was more than a lonely existence where she helped everyone but herself. That the loss of that person had inspired such bitterness had to mean she had loved him.
And a spike of jealous pain and rage jolted through Lucas with that thought. He straightened and speared her with a glare that he hoped kept his true heart hidden.
“It’s unfair to you, Diana,” he insisted.
She shrugged. “Life is unfair, Lucas. I would think you know that better than most. It is decided. I will play the role of your mistress and I will go with you on this move so that I may continue to help you.”
He set his jaw. He did not like this, but she was not wrong. The easiest way to make this work was for her play that role. Play it? Hell, it wasn’t far off from how he treated her. The only difference between a lover and a mistress was the financial support a mistress got.
Perhaps he owed her that as much as he owed her anything. But now was not the time to think about those things. She would be safe in his house, she would no longer have to fuss over cooking or cleaning or anything but her work. And since he was getting better by the day, even that wouldn’t be as taxing for her as it had been upon his arrival nearly two weeks before.
This was for the best. Yes. The niggling feeling in his stomach that it wasn’t was only excitement over being allowed to continue his work.
“Well, I may not agree, but I suppose it is settled,” he said. “I’ll send word to my servants here in Town that we will be arriving in twenty-four hours. Does that give you enough time to prepare?”
She swallowed, and then her face transformed. No longer was she his lover—there was a sense of distance there. That wall she had tried to put up in the morning, but higher now. More formidable. “Certainly, Your Grace. Though it will likely mean that I will be quite busy until we depart tomorrow.”
She nodded in his direction and then turned to go. At the door, she turned. He held his breath as she struggled with whatever she was going to say.
“I want to help you, Lucas. I will in any way you see fit. But please, don’t lie to me again or hide what you’re doing. Please.”
The second please lilted out, shaky and more emotional than he thought she might have wanted. It spoke volumes about her. Revealed more than she had even when she made love to him.
He nodded. “I may not be able to tell you everything I’m doing. I won’t, in fact, but I won’t lie to you about that. I won’t hide it.”
That seemed to satisfy her, for she left the room. And left him feeling that nothing between them would ever be the same.
Chapter Twelve
