He wanted to soothe the ones she hadn’t shared, too. The ones he sensed below the surface, where she so jealously protected them.
“If I deserve justice, then I also deserve the truth,” she whispered. “And I want it, Lucas.”
He hesitated. “You want to know about my case?”
“I don’t expect you would agree to that,” she said, pulling away from him. Leaving him cold. Bereft in ways he didn’t want to analyze. “But stop hiding it from me. This is too small a house for you to do so.”
He jolted. Here he’d come upstairs, ready to give her the news of their move and he’d forgotten it all when faced with her tears. Yet another example of how deeply she distracted him.
He bent his head. “I’m…sorry.”
She wrinkled her brow. “You’re actually apologizing to me?”
He nodded. “Yes. Not for investigating. That is my nature and my duty and I will not change for anyone. But perhaps I should not have been so secretive. You are right that Oakford was your father—no one has been more affected by his death. To investigate under your roof, behind your back, was wrong.”
“Thank you,” she said, though her tone was still stunned. He wondered if apologies were so rare to her that she hardly recognized one when she heard it.
“And that brings me to the subject I wanted to broach with you when I came upstairs,” he continued. “It has to do with the investigation.”
She tilted her head. “Very well. What is it?”
“Stalwood and I agree that I could do more on that count if I were to move to my own home here in London.”
Her lips parted. “What? Why?”
He hesitated. Here he had just promised not to keep her locked out of what he was doing. But he didn’t want to endanger her, either. At least no more than he knew he would just by being in her presence.
“Please, won’t you be honest with me?” she said, exhaustion lacing her tone. “I’m soverytired of all the lies.”
Yes, he could see that in her face, in her eyes, her posture. She was on the edge, ready to fall. He didn’t want to be the one who pushed her, even if he didn’t think he could be the one who caught her either.
“I’m going to tell you the truth,” he said. “With the understanding that it is not something you may repeat to anyone at any time.”
She nodded slowly. “Very well, though who you think I would tell, I don’t know.”
Her words reminded him once more of how alone she was, and he winced before he said, “The man who was responsible for your father’s death, the traitor…he is back at his old ways. There’s been another death.”
Her knees buckled and she just caught herself on the back of the closest chair as she stared at him in horror. “No. No!”
“I’m so sorry, Diana, but yes. This man, he no doubt knows I’m still alive, but Stalwood has done a very good job hiding me these past six months. We think if I come back into the public eye, it might push this bastard to a breaking point. It might make him do or say something that would reveal him for the coward he truly is.”
“You want to use yourself as bait.”
He smiled. “That was what Stalwood said, as well. You really do have the mind of a spy in some ways.”
He expected her to smile back, but instead she stepped toward him with eyes flashing. “So you’re going to make it obvious where you are. You’re going to all but tempt him to you, open your doors to him, allow him into your home to threaten—”
“Diana,” he interrupted. “I would not let you be in danger.”
She cupped his cheeks. “I’m not talking about me, you fool! I’m talking about you. This man already nearly killed you! How can you consider putting yourself in his path? Teasing him with your presence? What if he comes after you again?”
He tilted his head. She was truly only concerned for his well-being. His heart throbbed at that fact. It was not one many people in his life had shared. No one on any deep level since he’d pushed his friends away after entering the service of the War Department.
And yet here she was, fearful not for herself, but for him.
He turned his face and kissed one of her palms. “Stalwood will arrange protection. For us both.”
“Both?” she repeated.
