He worried his hands together. “That—that old habits die hard, my lady.”
Charlotte stared at him, uncertain and then his expression and his meaning became clear. “You’re talking about protecting Ewan from—from me.” Smith wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Are you asking my intentions?”
He shook his head slowly, still not looking up. “That would not be my place.”
“It seems like it has been, like it is,” she said gently, for she felt no animus toward this kind and steadfast man. He had, after all, protected the man she loved. For that she would be forever grateful.
He glanced at her at last. “I recognize the absolute inappropriateness of my question.”
“I’m glad someone is here to ask it on his behalf,” she said. Then she shook her head. “Smith, if it were up to me, I would spend my life with him. Right now I am like you. I am doing everything in my power, proper or not, to make Ewan see that a future with meispossible.”
He seemed to take those words in, digesting them fully before he leaned a little closer. “My lady, I have never seen you as anything less than the very best of women. I do fear, though, that His Grace could be hurt on this path you are traveling. I fear you could be, too.”
She blinked at sudden tears. “You mean you fear he would not let me close, no matter what I do.”
Smith was clearly uncomfortable. His feet shifted constantly and he stammered when he said, “I-I don’t know. It ishardfor him.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“But I hope he will,” Smith added swiftly. “And if there is anything I can do to help you in this endeavor…”
She reached out and caught the butler’s hand. She squeezed gently. “Thank you, dear Smith, for that kindness. I appreciate it and you more than you know.”
The butler opened his mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by the sound of a light rap on the door. Together they stood and faced the sound. Charlotte caught her breath, for it was Ewan standing in the doorway, his dark eyes narrowed as he observed her with his most trusted servant.
She had no idea how much he had overheard of her conversation with Smith, his expression was too unreadable to guess. Smith also seemed uncertain, for he hustled out of the circle of chairs and toward the door. “Hello, Your Grace. Is there anything you need from me?”
Ewan’s gaze shifted and then he shook his head.
Smith bowed slightly. “Then I shall go see to the final breakfast preparations. Good day.”
When he was gone, Charlotte drew a deep breath, rose to her feet and advanced on Ewan. He tracked her every step, withdrawn, wary even. She smiled to put them both at ease and then lifted to her tiptoes to press a kiss against his cheek.
“Good morning,” she whispered. “I missed waking up with you.”
His expression softened and he signed, “Good morning, Charlotte.”
She could feel so many things coming off this man in that moment. Desire was paramount. He was leaning into her slightly, his body heat curling around her and making her knees weak when he hadn’t even touched her. She could play that desire. If she reached behind him and shut the door, they would make love and it would wonderful.
But it would do nothing to combat the other emotion she felt from him: reluctance. The closer they grew, the more he pushed against that bond that was forming. The one he truly believed wasn’t one they could make or sustain.
So as much as she wanted to touch him, pleasure him, seduce him, what she was beginning to realize was that she needed to do more. She needed to connect with him. To remind him of their friendship, of their bond, and to show him how wonderful a life of that bond could be.
She had to do that. And she had to forget her fears that Smith was correct in that Ewan might never allow it, or her, to be a permanent part of him. She refused to believe it. And she’d fight to make sure it wasn’t true.
Chapter Nine
Ewan often felt negative emotions when he was around other people. Strangers set him back a step, made him wonder at what they thought of him. With Charlotte it had never been that way. He’d never been nervous around her.
Until this moment. Standing in his office, with her smiling up at him just as she had a thousand times before, he felt…different somehow. Like he had to be ready to defend himself.
Perhaps it was that she’d been sitting so close to Smith when he entered. Ewan was good at reading people. When one didn’t speak, sometimes people forgot one was there at all. Plenty of times, Ewan had been very aware of the tells of others. Charlotte had her own, as did Smith.
They’d been talking abouthim.
The two people who probably saw deepest into him: Smith because he’d been privy to Ewan’s childhood, Charlotte because…
Because she was Charlotte. She looked deeper into him than anyone else ever had. She saw everything. Almost everything.
