Charlotte tilted her head. “You are looking at me as if I’m mad. Did I put my dress on backward?”
The question, asked in her laughing tone that always put him at ease, drew the tension from him. He shook his head as he signed, “No, you look lovely.”
“I wasn’t fishing for a compliment,” she said as she gave him a twirl. “Though I do admit I am happy to be back in color. Black and gray and violet are so dour.”
She caught both his hands and backed him across the room, then motioned to the chair Smith had vacated moments before. He took it, for he had no way of refusing her, and she took the other. “Smith said you’d gone to inspect the dam and the bridge,” she said.
He heard the worry in her voice, anxiety for his people that warmed his heart. “Everything is fine, Charlotte,” he reassured her. “The water is receding now that the rains have let up. My men are still monitoring the situation, but the families will return to their undamaged cottages as early as tomorrow.”
She sighed in relief. “Oh, that makes me happy. Will they need assistance?”
His heart throbbed as he stared at her. The daughter of a duke, the wife of an earl, she so easily suggested taking on what many would consider a menial task far beneath them. Certainly, he could not picture his mother being so kind to people so far below her rank whom she barely knew.
“No,” he signed. “The moving back in will involve far less immediacy than moving out did. My people will help each family and they can take their time.”
“Very good,” she said. “But please do let me know if there’s anything I can do for your tenants. I really do want to be of service.”
He drew a long breath, for the way she was behaving was how she would act if she were his wife. The lady of the manor might very well offer such care and consideration for her people. And for a brief moment he could so very easily picture her in that very role. So easily that his chest hurt.
“Charlotte, I don’t think you—” he began to sign.
She pushed from her chair and turned her back, essentially cutting him off as she walked to his window and looked out at the gray morning. “Do you know what I was thinking as I sat with Smith in this lovely study of yours?”
He sighed as he stood and moved to stand with her. “What?” he signed.
“That I have never really had a tour of this place,” she said with a bright smile.
“Really?” he signed, searching his mind. “How is that possible?”
“I’ve only been here the one time,” she said, her smile faltering a little. “When you inherited. There was so much going on and so many people here to celebrate you, I feel as though it was a whirlwind. I wanted to ask you to show me every nook and cranny, but…”
She trailed off and her cheeks flooded with sudden color. He pursed his lips at it as he slowly signed, “But?”
She worried her lip a fraction. “I was still married to Nathan,” she whispered. “I knew if I asked you to take me on a private tour of your home that he—that he would know—see…”
His lips parted. They had never spoken of her husband. Ewan had always been polite to the man, even if there was some dark part of him that hated the Earl of Portsmith.
“Did he know?” he asked.
She held his stare for a beat before she ducked her head. “I think so, yes. I don’t think I was ever very good at hiding what I felt, especially if you and I were in a room together.”
He considered the earl, the times he’d caught Portsmith watching him. Ewan had sensed his hesitation, his discomfort. That was part of the reason he’d begun to avoid close contact with Charlotte. He knew he had no right to interfere in her marriage.
Now he felt compelled to ask, “What did he think of that?”
She shrugged. “He never said anything to me directly, but he didn’t seem angry when the subject of our friendship came up. He was justcarefulwhen he asked about you. Nathan did not…love me,” she admitted slowly. “And I did not love him either. So I suppose if I loved another, it was just as happy a thing for him. As long as I didn’t betray him or humiliate him, it freed him from having to deal with any inconvenient emotions I might develop through years of marriage.”
Ewan stared at her. How was it possible that a man could be with Charlotte, could touch her, could hold her, could spend any time with her and not love her? Had the earl been mad?
But there was another reaction that her quiet confession revealed to him. One that was very dangerous considering their current situation. Ewan was glad.Gladthat she hadn’t loved another man. Glad that the earl hadn’t loved her. He might have touched her body, but he’d never gotten near her heart.
Ewan hated himself for that. He could well imagine her years of marriage must have been empty if there was so little connection between them. That was no reason for celebration, especially since his own love for her could lead to so little.
He forced a smile on his face and signed, “I have been a poor host. We have a little time before breakfast will be ready for us. Would you like your tour now?”
Her expression brightened, the darker expression on her face fading. “I would love that. Please, lead the way—I cannot wait to see it all.”
He hesitated a fraction, then held out an elbow to her. She looked at his face, then the offering and slowly slid her hand into the crook of his arm. He felt the weight of it there, the gentle pressure of each of her fingers. He felt her body pressed against his and God, how it made him think dark and dangerous thoughts.
