Meg smiled as she drew Emma to the settee and they sat together there. “My disappointment stems from the fact that I think my brother would have an easier time of it if he had the support of a woman like you. Iwantedyour courtship to be real.”
Emma stared at her, shocked firstly that Meg would want her brother tied to a woman with so little in the way of prospects, with no influence and with questionable family connections. But also shocked that what Meg said revealed something of her own heart.
Because in that moment Emma realized some part of her also wished that this courtship were real. That what had just happened between her and James in his office was the beginning of something greater, not just a way for him to hide from her.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Emma asked.
“Of course.”
“Whyisyour brother so opposed to marriage?” She knew some of that answer, of course. He’d told her about the terrible consequences of the loveless marriage of his own mother, but she knew there was more.
And she was willing to go behind his back to discover what that more was.
Meg let out a long, pained sigh. “Father was so cruel to him.”
Emma drew back in surprise. She’d never known the previous Duke of Abernathe, for he had died long before she came out in Society, long before she was being taught or grilled about those who were her betters. But she’d never assumed he’d been cruel.
“How?” she whispered. “Why?”
Meg shifted in discomfort. “James wouldn’t want me to speak about this. He would consider it a betrayal, I know. His past is private—only his closest friends know even a glimpse of it.”
Emma nodded slowly, disappointed that she would be kept from the truth, even if she understood Meg’s reasons to keep her in the dark.
“Do you care for him?”
Emma gulped in a breath at the unexpected question and the focused way Meg was staring at her. “I-I—you know it is a ruse.”
Her friend was watching her and her expression was serious. “Yes, I do. But sometimes when I’ve seen you together, I’ve sensed something deeper than what could be construed as a ruse. I wonder if you care for James. If there isanypart of you that wishes there could be more between you than just some elaborate game he has concocted in order to protect himself…to protect you?”
Emma stared at her hands, clenched tightly in her lap. Meg was dancing too close to the truth, too close to the edge. Emma didn’t want to reveal so much of her heart, and yet she found herself unable to do anything but just that.
“I do care for him,” she whispered. Saying the words out loud stole her breath and she struggled before she continued. “Even though I know there is no hope for a future with him. There is something about him that makes me want…more.”
Meg smiled, and there was no mistaking her triumph. “I knew it.”
“But Meg, there is no indication whatsoever that he feels anything for me,” Emma said swiftly. “Nor that he has a desire to change any of his plans for me. You must know that it is a losing battle. The best I can do is follow what he wants, try to use his attention to find another match.”
Meg wrinkled her brow, and there was understanding on her face. Something that went deeper than a mere empathy for Emma. “Yes, I know that sometimes we can’t have what we truly want,” she said softly. “Though I would wish more for you and for my brother than an arrangement you didn’t want and a lonely, empty existence.”
“I appreciate your thought, but…I must accept what is,” Emma said. “I know that.”
Meg bent her head and took a long breath. “James was not the firstborn son,” she said without looking at Emma. “Our father was married before our mother.”
“He was?”
“Yes. His first wife died giving him his heir. And then the boy died years later, as well, in an accident.”
Emma caught her breath. “That poor man.”
Meg shrugged. “I do not know how he was with that first family. It’s hard to imagine he was ever kind or loving, for I certainly never saw that capacity in him. But whether he truly cared for his first family or not, our father was a duke and continuing his line was his obsession. He needed an heir, so before his mourning period was even over, he courted and married our mother. They produced James in short order. I was an attempt at a spare, and a disappointment to him, for certain.”
Emma reached for her, catching her hand. “I’m sure not, Meg. No one could do anything but like you.”
Meg’s smile was sad. “Thank you, Emma, but I promise you my father did not. He used to tell me so to my face before he stopped talking to me entirely when I was fourteen.”
“He stopped talking to you?” Emma repeated, her jaw dropping at the very idea of such cruelty.
Tears leapt to Meg’s eyes but she blinked them back. “He said I was my mother’s problem. But it wasn’t just me. He didn’tlikeany of us. He despised us for being the replacements for the family he truly desired. In truth, I appreciate being ignored. James wasn’t and he bore the brunt of our father’s hatred. One of my earliest memories is the duke slapping James across the face so hard across the face that he split his lip.”
