“Not choosing you was never about a lack of love for you,” James said.
Simon nodded and a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Of course, another had already settled there and it was far heavier than the first. As if James read his mind, his mouth tugged down into a grim line.
“You know what has to happen now, I think.”
Simon caught his breath. The moment the three men had burst into the room, he’d known what would happen. If it had only been Graham and James to find them, perhaps it would have been different.
But it wasn’t. Baxton had been there, he had seen everything. Simon hadn’t fully allowed himself to process what that meant, but now it was unavoidable.
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m going to have to marry her.”
Meg fussed with her buttons and blinked at the tears that threatened to fall. She knew it was wrong to leave the door open a crack and listen to them, but she had done it anyway. At least until she heard too much and she’d backed away and dressed.
She’d heard James yell at Simon about whoring through London. About…sharing women with the Duke of Roseford. That was when she’d moved away. The idea of that was very confusing to her, for she didn’t understand the logistics, but the meaning stung her. All the while that she had been pining for Simon, he had been moving from woman to woman, not even thinking about her?
Was she just another in that line? Was his kiss last night about her being just another warm body that he couldn’t resist? Was everything she thought was between them just a lie?
She shook her head. It didn’t really matter anymore. She had bigger problems out in front of her. A gossip who would spread this tale. A fiancé whose rage was palpable and completely understandable. The disappointment of a most-beloved brother. Those things were what she had to focus on.
Simon would have to take care of himself.
She took a long breath, then left the room. The two men stopped talking as soon as she stepped out, and she found herself looking at Simon even though she was trying not to do just that.
He was wrinkled and disheveled and his hair stuck up at odd angles. But he was perfect and beautiful, and her mind spun on the feel of his full lips on hers.
“Meg?” James stepped toward her and she pushed the other thoughts from her mind. His expression was gentler now than it had been when she entered the bedroom. He touched her cheek. “It’s going to be all right.”
Those words, those lies, broke her and she stepped into his arms. He smoothed his hands along her back as she said, “No. No, it won’t be. I know it can’t be. Not for a long time.”
He let her shake in his arms for a moment before he drew back and smiled at her. “We will work this out, Meg. I promise you, and you know I never break my promises. Now, come. Emma has been worried sick. There is a carriage just through the woods on the road, and you and I will ride back to the estate together in it.”
“A carriage?” she repeated in confusion. “Why a carriage?”
Some of the color left James’s face. “Each search party took a carriage just in case someone found you…hurtand the vehicle was needed to rush you to a doctor.”
Meg’s lips parted as she stared at her brother’s ashen face. “Oh, Jamie.”
He shook his head. “You are well. Both of you. That is all that matters now.”
She glanced over her shoulder. Simon was following them outside, silent and grim. “What about Simon? Will he ride in the carriage with us?”
“No, Simon will ride my horse back,” James said, sending him a pointed look. “He needs air to clear his head.”
Simon jerked out a swift nod, but still he was silent. It was amazing how much that silence meant. Usually Simon was the first to crack a joke and lighten the mood. There was nothing jovial on is face now. It was like he was another person.
Just as he had been right before he kissed her.
James took her arm and led her from the cottage. As they passed by Simon, she hesitated. “I-I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
She expected, hoped, that he would respond to her. But he merely inclined his head and watched her go. Outside it was a bright and sunny morning, and she flinched at the stark light of it. James’s horse was standing before the door and Simon caught the reins and led it through the woods until they reached the road. There a carriage awaited, driven by a servant who did not look at her as James opened the carriage door.
Simon looked, though. He watched as James helped her up into the carriage. The last glance she had was of him watching their vehicle drive away. She flopped back against the seat, closing her eyes briefly as she prepared for the lecture James was sure to give.
But he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t speak for almost ten full minutes, but let her sit, bombarded by her own thoughts and fears and memories.
Finally, he cleared his throat. “I may have made a mistake, arranging a marriage without consulting you.”
Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at her brother. James was leaning forward, his elbows draped across his knees, his face drawn and taut.
