Unable to resist, I twist my neck slightly to the left, toward the man holding out his arm, and step in closer, his words pulling me over. My blood runs cold as I come to a stop in front of him, my brown leather day shoes scuffing against the dirty floor. He has no body hair, is malnourished, and pale. His eyes are heavy as if he hasn’t slept in weeks, and…
Bile rises from my stomach, burning through my insides as I notice a small but prominent dent on the bridge of his nose.A dent along the bridge of his nose…that I know happened when he tripped on a knot-riddled log, landing face first in a pile of splintered wood, requiring eight sutures.
I shake my head furiously as my stomach drops. I’m mistaken. He wouldn’t be here. Hecouldn’tbe here. With my eyes shut tightly, I pray that when I open them again, I’ll see that my mind has been playing tricks on me.
But I know it’s not.
Those eyes…I would recognize them anywhere—even here, in a place like this. My breaths become frantic, and my lungs struggle to inhale. A whimper rattles deep in my throat as tears burn at the back of my eyes. He looks close to death.
“No, no—” I whisper. The sensation of his name flickers across my tongue, a relic of nostalgia that sears in my brain.
“You’re here,” he utters, his voice dry and scratchy.
My brain catches up with what I’m seeing, and I hold a finger to my lips, signaling him to stay silent. A heavy wave of dizziness hits me, but I glance over my shoulder to find Otto still having a private conversation out of view.
I swallow against the thickness in my throat, keeping myself still so no one will notice our encounter.
“Why—why are you here?” I gasp. “Did you break the law? You wouldn’t do that…you-you wouldn’t,” I whisper, my words fumbling as I try to ask everything all at once.
He tilts head to the side and the faint line of his eyebrows arch with despair. “Of course I haven’t?—”
“Tell me what’s happened. Let me—” I swallow hard and peer back once more to see if Otto is returning, but he’s not there. “Let me help. Why would anyone bring you here if you’re not a criminal?”
His sharp, bony shoulders slouch forward, and he stares up at me for a long, painful second. A second I’ll never forget.
“Emi, you must know why I’m here…”
I scan the other men around us again, taking a closer look—spotting the yellow star adhered to their uniforms with the exception of a few men who have red triangle patches. I’m not sure what the triangles mean, but the yellow star patches with the word Jude inked in the center that has branded all Jewish people of Germany for almost two years now, answers my question.
This camp—it’s not just a concentration camp for political criminals, it’s a camp for Jewish people.Until now, I’d only heard of Jewish people being deported to ghettos or labor camps outside of Germany. No one has ever hinted at them being sent to a barbed-wire, gated prison within Germany itself. I’veonly ever known Dachau to hold members of the resistance and political opponents following arrest. There are more yellow stars adhered to uniforms than not in this room. How many Jewish people have been brought here?
A cold numbness zings through my veins as bile swirls around like a tornado in my stomach. Why is Otto working in a place like this? Does he know about it? Does Otto know Danner is here? Is that why he didn’t want me to join him? The startling perception sends a sharp shiver down my spine.
“Oh my God,” I cry quietly, taking in the sight of my old friend, terrified to imagine what he’s already been through.
I’ve never seen Danner without a full head of hair, never mind bald with mere sprigs of hair regrowing. His eyes are darker, lifeless but lined with terror, and his eyelids appear too heavy to hold open. His skin is pale and gray, and his cheeks are hollow. He’s skeletal and his shoulders are drooping forward, causing his prison uniform to sit on him as if it’s resting on a hanger. And his hands…they’re hardly recognizable, just thin sticks covered in pale scratched up flesh. Dirt is caked beneath his nails, something Danner never allowed to happen before, despite all the time he spent working outside with his bees.
My chest caves in, pinning my heart to my spine. It’s hard to breathe, and I must force myself to acknowledge that he—that Danner…Danner depicts the definition of being on the brink of death.
“Are you sick?” I ask, clutching the collar of my dress.
Danner shakes his head. “No, I was given a choice between execution or reporting to the sick bay. I have a feeling I made the wrong choice.”
“Ex—” My breath catches in my throat, and I want to press my fingernails into the flesh of my chest and squeeze my heart until it stops throbbing. “Ex-execution?” I repeat. There have been rumors, carried through illegal broadcasts from othercountries, but we’d been assured this wasn’t the case. I take in a shallow, shuddered breath that fills my lungs with what feels like tar. “No. No. That can’t happen. No. Jewish people aren’t being executed. That can’t be right. It can’t be true.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince him or myself, but along with the rumors, it’s hard to forget Hitler’s infamous words spoken three years ago, promising “annihilation of the Jewish race” if Germany were to end up in another world war. We’ve been led to believe this statement refers to the deportation of Jewish people. No one speaks of such a thing. I don’t understand.
“Emilie,” Otto calls for me.
My head slingshots to my other side, finding him waving me over as he continues his conversation.
“Emi, go. I’ll be fine,” Danner utters.
I shake my head as tears fill my eyes. I reach my hand out to his cheek, but he pushes it away while shifting slightly to shield me from anyone watching us. “You need to go. Listen to me.”
“I can’t?—”
“Go now,” he grunts. “Please. They’ll likely kill me if you don’t.” As if lightning strikes the center of my head and writhes down to my toes, I drop my hands and try to swallow my pain. “Dry your eyes.”
I shove my fists beneath each eye, doing as Danner says, and struggle to take in another shallow breath. There’s no air to breathe. “I?—”
