“Or you just realized you’ve been calling me a dumbass most of your life for no reason.” Brody flicks his spoon at me, splattering milk on my face.
“It hasn’t been for no reason. You were a troublemaker, always getting into fights, and doing stupid things, from what I heard.”
“You heard that, huh?”
“Sure did. That’s why you weren’t at a lot of the family get-togethers as we got older.”
“Oh, I see,” Brody says, cocking his head to the side.
“Did you think no one knew?” I ask.
Brody shakes his head. “No, I didn’t think that. However, now I know no one knew the truth, which is how I liked it.”
“What are you saying? You weren’t the troublemaker everyone said you were?”
“Oh, I was in a lot of trouble, but not the way you think I was.”
20
I thinkwe both fell back asleep a few times between the hours of four and seven, but I’m awake, thinking about the day being Friday and what I should do about Brody. Is it selfish to let him come with me, or is it selfish to prevent him from going? I’m not sure there’s a right answer.
Brody is still kind of sleeping, I think. His eyes are closed, so I slip away from the couch to make some coffee. Yesterday was like a hurricane of emotions, and I feel like I have some cleanup to do today. I wonder if Brody took some time to think about the reality of being with someone like me—a person who doesn’t have control. I’ve dumped so much on him this past week, and I can’t figure out why he’s still attracted to me or wants to spend time here.
When the Keurig begins to drip coffee into my cup, I spot Brody stretching in the corner of the couch where he’s been comfortably resting.
“Do I get coffee too?” he asks through raspy words.
“I don’t know if you’ve earned the right to have coffee at my apartment yet. I haven’t decided if I’m over the fact of you stealing it from me,” I tease.
I see a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes, and it’s in this moment, I realize I can’t resist the look on his face. “Fine,” I mutter.
“I think we’re turning a corner, Journey,” he says.
“Yeah, yeah.”
Once I have the two mugs filled and topped with creamer, I bring them over to the sofa and curl my leg up beneath me as I sit down next to Brody, handing him a mug. “What do you usually do when Hannah is away for the weekend?”
“I work or tend to the honey-do list I’ve made for myself. Things are always breaking at our house because Hannah is like a gentle flower most days.”
“Oh, boy,” I respond. “I think I want to see your house.”
“Nope,” he says without a second thought.
“What? Why not?”
“I live with a tween girl who refuses to pick up after herself, and the place is a mess. I have trouble keeping up.”
I like neat and tidy, although I don’t make my bed most days. That’s my only weakness when it comes to cleaning. I’m not sure I could deal with a tween child leaving messes everywhere.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“You’ve been scared about running me out the door with your confessions, Journey. I’m scared the state of my house would have a much worse effect on you than your past has on me.”
Well, now I just want to see how bad it is. “Hmm. Interesting.”
“Not really,” he says, his cheeks brightening into a red hue. “Anyway, about this morning. Did you think about it—me tagging along with your visit to see Adam?”
I stare down into the steam fogging from my mug, knowing I haven’t come up with a decision. “I don’t know,” I say honestly.
