"Paul," he replies.
"How about you two?" I ask, focusing on the two men sitting across from Paul. They all look like they're eighteen, and I'm still confused.
"Dan," the red-headed guy says. I can't see his face, but he has red hair, so he is now, Dan with the red hair.
"Frankie," the other says. Frankie is bald and also won't lift his head.What is this?
"Okay, then." I take a seat toward the other end of the table and place my notebook down, waiting for Mick to join us.Mickey—I bet he sees himself as a hot ticket compared to these guys sitting around the table.
Mick struts in a few minutes late and flips on the overhead projector. "How's everyone doing this morning?" he asks. "I assume you all met Madelyn by now?" No one answers him. "They'll warm up to you."
I wonder why Minnie and the ghost-woman aren't in here.
I keep quiet because I feel like I should have questioned everything way more before starting this job because now, the growing pit at the bottom of my stomach is telling me I made a huge mistake.
Mick clears his throat. "Okay, so I mentioned to most of you that we brought in a new project, which we'll be starting today. It's a big opportunity, so I want to invest all the creativity we can offer into this initial campaign. They've hired us to organize a photo shoot to go along with the content they are providing. I would love to hear your ideas, and then I will offer my thoughts. This project will move fast since they gave us a deadline for this Friday, but I'm confident we can come out on top. So yeah, big stuff is happening, guys."
If I hadn't already guessed or assumed by their attempt to make this place appear modern and easygoing, it's more obvious now that Virtual Generation is a startup business, which makes me wonder how long the company has been open. "So, tell us, Mick, what is the campaign for?" I feel like I'm asking what the prize is on a game show.
"Lacto Natural Central is the company we're working with. They are—well, they are a supplier for … uh ... breast milk," Mick says, turning around so his back is facing us. He points to the company's logo on the first projected slide as if he needs to clarify what the branding looks like. It's the only thing on the slide.
The male employees at the table are taking turns snorting and covering their mouths to hold in their laughter, which again, brings me back to the age question. "We're discussing breast milk, so I don't think there's anything to be uncomfortable about since the topic only involves human nature. It sounds like a great project," I tell them, sounding like a spokesperson for breast milk.
"Yes, I agree," Mick says, turning back around, revealing red-splotches across his cheeks. Breast milk must make him uncomfortable too. So that's where we're at.
"I have an idea," Dan says, holding his pen up, "why don't we take a photo of a cow, then place a hash line through the image—like a no-smoking sign—?"
"No," Mick stops him.
"A baby drinking a bottle?" Frankie suggests.
"Not enough," Mick says.
"What about a baby and bottle next to a breast pump filled with milk?" I offer.
"No, no, that's ridiculous," Mick says, "I've got a wild idea though, and I believe it will get the right attention." I have a strong feeling I'd rather not hear the idea. "We're a new company, but we're in a new age, so we have to prove ourselves, but also stay authentic to what we know. Therefore, we should consider some marketing trends that have worked in the past, and put a modern spin on one." Mick scrolls through a few slides of his presentation and stops on a screen that makes me want to get up and walk out of the room. "We should bring back the 'Get Milk' campaign from the '90s, but alter the overall appearance to make it relevant for our product." The act of drinking cow's milk cannot compare to breastfeeding. I can't fathom what is going through this idiot's head.
I lift my hand as I begin to speak. "With all due respect, I don't think reviving an old milk campaign is a good idea for this product," I say. "On a side note, though, wasn't the campaign from the '80s or '90s worded: 'Got' not 'Get Milk?"
Frankie stands up and points his pen into the air like Dan did, but focuses his stare against the table rather than making eye contact with anyone in the room. "Fact: the 'Get Milk' slogan followed the original wording of 'Got,' but the newer campaign slogan contains correct grammar. The updated slogan was a marketing tactic to slam the original creator for using an incorrect use of words."
"That's absurd," I tell him, laughing while doodling on my notepad.
"In fact, the dairy farms that contributed to the 'Get Milk' campaign used the newer message to tell their audience that their brand of milk came from smarter, healthier, organic-fed cows." Frankie finally finishes spitting out his useless information that sounds as if he has been reciting the same explanation as a party trick to impress people. I can't imagine how bored a person must be to research all this information.
"Yes, Frankie, you're right," Mick says, giving Frankie a thumbs up. The proud look transforms into a grimace as he peers over to me. "Madelyn, I'm sorry, but I disagree with your opinion. I have a feeling the consumers will relate to this campaign and find comfort within the nostalgia." Mick looks so proud of himself for coming up with the world's dumbest idea. I love where I ended up today—mydream job. "Dan, find that guy who used to do the photo shoots for the 'Get Milk' campaigns. We need him A-S-A-P."
"You mean, the kid model with the milk mustache?" Dan confirms.
"This guy," Mick says, pulling the model's picture up on the projector. "He's perfect."
Yes, this man in the picture defines the meaning of perfect with his smoldering emerald green eyes that are glowing from the direct sunlight, his purposeful messy dark, wet hair, and chiseled body that's covered in some type of grease. My body says yes to the hottie on the screen, but my mind says no. This guy is better suited for advertising tanning oil, low-hanging swim trunks, or hot-spicy cologne, but not breast milk. If he was a child-model, I'm sure he has years of experience under his belt and would never agree to such an idiotic idea. So they can have at it without another intervening word from my big mouth.
"You know, he's at least thirty by now. Are you sure he'll be a good fit?" Dan questions Mick. Forgetting about the fact that we're talking about breast milk, did he see the guy on the wall? If he looks that good at thirty, maybe he's been drinking breast milk for a living.Ew, my thoughts have gone too far.
"Yes, get Wesley Moon in here. This vision will be our winning ad to help us branch out. Trust me."
I stand up from my chair because I'm disturbed, irritated, and can't keep my mouth shut … or my eyes off the god of milk.
