His arm wraps around me in return and he sighs into my ear. "I may not wake up, Reese."
"I may not wake up either," I tell him. This is the part I was afraid of. The part when we both give up at the same time. The part where neither of us is strong enough to convince the other to keep pushing forward. I'm eighteen. My life was supposed to be ahead of me. I promised Dad I would go to college and get a good job. That was all he ever wanted.I guess I'm going to have to let you down, Dad.
"Tell me something about your life before you came to Chipley with your mom," I ask him softly. "If you die first, I want to say the right things when I bury you."
He groans a little before words percolate on his tongue. "I won the state division for my weight in wrestling. I had a full academic scholarship to Oklahoma State, but I decided to put it on hold for two years to stay with my mom in order to protect her from my dad."
"You could have been Greek God turned Greek frat boy," I laugh quietly.
"Well, as for me, I was going to be a nurse like my mom, but I still had three years of high school left. I hadn't really begun to make future plans, and now I'm glad I didn't. I guess I'd feel more sorry for myself than I already do."
"Am I supposed to say that if I have to bury you first?" A small smile tugs at the corner of Sin's lips, even though his eyes are still closed.
"No, you can say I was a fighter and a survivor until there was nothing left to survive for."
"Well if I'm the one saying this, that means I wasn't enough for you to survive for."
"You're right," I tell him. "Let's just plan to stay alive."
"Plans don't always work out," he says, his words slurring into a long breath.
I listen to his even breaths float along the slight breezes. The white noises of the quiet surroundings ease me into a sleep I've needed for days. I do my best to block out the thought of people trying to eat me, killer birds, and a dream of a life I left behind.
A dreamless/nightmareless night brings in the morning dew, covering my exposed skin with droplets of water. A chill travels up my spine and my eyes struggle against the heaviness of my lids.
The chill and the dew immediately disappear when I am able to focus on my surroundings. I'm in my bed at home under a warm blanket with Sin lying beside me. Our naked bodies are meshed together in a tight embrace and a warm flush fills my cheeks. "Sin," I whisper. The whisper seems to echo between the walls, but doesn't have much of an effect over Sin since he doesn't budge. I press the heel of my palm into his side and nudge his heavy body.
His eyes finally peel open as the sunlight pours into my room, shining directly into his eyes, highlighting the blues and green hues that make up the abstract canvas of beautiful colors within his irises. "Guess we're still alive," he says, inspecting me with a gentle smile.
"Do you see the bedroom we're in? And the bed we're lying in? Do you see the cream colored walls and the blue teal comforter covering our bare bodies?" I ask.
"Keep talking," he says.
"Do you feel the warmth from the sun pouring into the white, trim-framed windows? Do you feel my skin against yours?"
Sin moves so that he is hovering over me, staring down into my eyes, making me believe this is real. His hands travel aimlessly over my body, warming every inch of me, forcing a sensation of need to travel through every one of my nerve endings. Maybe death would feel like this. His lips press against my neck and down my center, his tongue tracing circles along the way. Would my breaths be so calm if this were happening? Would the swelling ache between my legs keep me begging for more? After he covers every part of me with his tongue, Sin pulls himself back up to where our lips can reconnect. With ease, he slips inside of me, thrusting and grinding his body against mine, bringing about a pleasure that makes me want to cry tears of happiness. The grip he has around my waist isn't tight enough; firm enough, strong enough, and I want more. "I want more." Harder and heavier, his body pounds against mine, my insides swelling with warmth and a mind numbing pleasurable ache. Moans sing from my throat and my body moves on its own accord, keeping in rhythm with his steady movements.
"I want to feel your body tighten around mine. I want to make you feel everything you've dreamed of feeling," he utters into my ear. But my dreams were never eccentric enough to imagine this. The pain of a first time leads to the pleasure of the second. There is no pain here, wherever here may be. There's flowers blooming, waves of an ocean crashing, and a warm sun melting into my cold skin. There's warm butter melting over a warm dish of food and that is what I feel inside. "I want to make you scream louder. Scream my name."
As if I have lost all control, I shout his name over and over until my body jerks against his with uncontrolled reflexes. Warmth fills me and makes me feel as though I'm melting into this bed. I let out a long breath and allow the smile to stretch my lips into an arch across my cheeks. One by one, blades of grass tickle my back and the dew droplets I had forgotten about reappear along with the cool breeze. And when I open my eyes, I see Sin, naked…lying over me…smiling a smile I believe is only for me. "The thought of a bed in a warm room was nice, but as long as I'm experiencing you, I don't care where I am," he says.
He slides over to the side of me and wraps his t-shirt around me. "My head and stomach are actually feeling better this morning." It's a relief I've needed to hear. "No more raw birds."
"What's happening to me? The hallucinations. Why?"
"It's both of us. We've been starving for too long and our neurological capabilities are weak. We need to find a steady income of food. We're running out of time."
