“No,” I tell her, taking her thin hands within mine. Her sleeves rise a bit and see bruises lining her skin. “Mom, I need you to leave Dad.”
“Sweetie, don’t be ridiculous. I can’t do that. I’m fifty. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Come with me or something.”
“No, Scarlett. I’m not going to live in your apartment with you. You need to have your own life now.”
“Mom, I am so screwed up from the abuse I watched going on with you and Dad all those years. You have no idea. I don’t know how to fix myself anymore and I think it’s because you’re still in that situation. I need you to be away from him.”
She looks surprised to hear this. “Honey, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You’re not okay,” I tell her. “What’s your dream, Mom?”
“Dreams are foolish, Scarlett. I live in the moment. You know that.”
My chest hurts as I try to make her see. “No, mom, you need to see the future. You need to imagine it.”
“It’s today, but with another date,” she says. I look into her sagging, sad eyes.
“You’ve been abused for thirty years. It’s over now.”
“You can’t say that, Scarlett.”
“What’s your dream, Mom?” I don’t remove my stare from hers. “Tell me.”
“I want him to die,” she whispers. “I want friends. I want to be loved.”
I hug her as her words shatter my heart. They make my bones hurt. “Where do you dream of being?”
She pauses but not for long. She’s thought of it before, I can tell. “Anywhere but here.”
“Good.”
“Scarlett, I’m still not living with you somewhere, so get that thought out of your head. I will not be a burden in a life that you need to build for yourself right now.”
“I understand,” I tell her.
“What did you do?” She can’t figure me out—this person I am right now. It’s not me, or maybe it is, and I’ve never known better.
“I fell in love, Mom.”
Her hand presses up against her chest. “Scarlett, you met someone?”
The smile on my face is proof. I can’t control the happiness pouring out of me even as I look at the pain Mom has endured for so long. I know now that there is no way to go backward. I just have to look forward.
“Come with me,” I tell her.
“How on earth am I supposed to do that?”
“Do you think there’s time to pack a bag of stuff?”
“No, I don’t think so,” she says.
“Then I’ll buy you new stuff. I’ve been saving.” I haven’t needed to spend much money while having free room and board this last month. I was saving up for an apartment, but I’ll live there a little longer if that means getting her settled.
“Sweetie, don’t be silly.” She stands up and pats my lap. “Follow me.” I follow her down the block with no clue as to what she’s doing. “I know what you think of me, Scarlett. I don’t blame you. You’ve never learned anything from me but how to be a weak person.”
“That’s not true, Mom.” It is a little true, but I wouldn’t hold that against her.
