Page 33 of Man Flu

“Cora—” I can’t do this.

“It’s okay. Daddy told me that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. It’s not confusing. It makes sense now.” I’m going to vomit again. Not because of this damn flu I have, but because I want to hurt that man. She’s five. Five!

“Cora, sweetie, that’s a lot of information for one day.”

“You know what’s weird, though?” she continues.

Tiana has one too? Oh, wouldn’t that just answer all my questions!

“Laundry!” Logan says as he reenters the room with my laundry basket. “Nice and warm, right out of the dryer.”

“Did you fold my clothes?” I ask him. I don’t need to ask because they’re neatly stacked in layers of organized clothing.

“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when they come out of the dryer? They’ll wrinkle if you don’t.” He laughs at me since I’m the crazy one. He’s folding his boss’s laundry, and I’m crazy. I am crazy. I’ve lost my goddamn mind.

“Mommy, I was talking to you!” Cora snaps.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, Miss Cora,” Logan says as he places the basket down on my bed.

“It’s okay,” she says with a smile, a smile just for Logan, not me. “So, Mommy, what was weird was that Tiana’s boobies stand straight up on their own without one of those strappy bowls you wear. She doesn’t need one of those, I guess.”

I hear the wind fly out of Logan’s lungs. “Cora,” he says, “I think we should go downstairs and see what we can find in the kitchen to make for dinner while your mom gets cleaned up. What do you think?”

“I’m kind of tired,” Cora says. “And my head hurts.”

“I bet I know a way to make it feel better,” Logan suggests. Maybe I should be concerned about him taking care of my five-year-old since I don’t know him very well, and he doesn’t know her well either, but for some reason, I have more faith in his childcare skills than Rick’s at the current moment.

“Really?” she asks with hope.

“Yup, I’m an expert at making headaches going away.”

“A lot of flying balls to the head?” I belt out. I couldn’t help it. The joke just rolled off my tongue without a second thought.

“Wow, cute and witty, who would have known?” He winks at me before scooping Cora off the ground, forcing her into a fit of giggles as he flies her out of the room.

My ovaries hurt almost as bad as my guts do now.