He looks at me with confusion. Clearly, I'm not making sense to him, but how could he think I'd be okay with the fact that he decided to test the boundaries by sleeping with another woman? Maybe I held onto this relationship too long, but I'm not that weak. “So, what are you saying?” he asks,nervously.
Is he seriously that dumb?I suppose I don’t need to ask him that part. “I'm saying we’re done. I waited long enough for you to love me the way I forced myself to love you, and it’s never going tohappen.”
He huffs a sarcastic chuckle. “I knew you wouldn't understand. How could I be with someone who has no acceptance or the capability of forgiveness? Maybe I was wrong, but the coldness in your heart is eventually going to catch up to you. I'm surprised you didn't remind me of your favorite saying—you know, how people don't change and blah blahblah.”
I lift my laptop from the table and slide it back into my bag. “If you need someone to blame, go ahead and tell me this is my fault. Maybe I'm cold. Maybe I wholeheartedly believe people can’t change who they are, yet I still waited for you to become a better person. That makes me the stupidone.”
“You can say that again,” he says. Mike always needs to have the last word, and I’ve let him have it through every fight we’ve endured, never caring what words lingered as I walkedaway.
I walk away, finally feeling free of the restraints that were holding me back—the ones I couldn't manage to untangle myself from before today. “I didn't just cheat on you once,” he shouts. “It was so many times that I lost count.” His fit of laughter floats through the air, making him sound like alunatic.
Tears prick my eyes after his last comment, which makes me angry because I don’t want his words or actions to hurt me anymore. Plus, what right do I have to pretend I know what pain feels like after reading Grams’s diary entries? I'm lucky to have a choice—to be able to walkaway.
As I’m heading back toward the hospital entrance after an unsuccessful attempt to catch up on my emails, I hear the engine of Mike's truck rev, followed by the sound of tires squealing against thepavement.
“How could I have been so stupid? Six years. Forwhat?”
“It happens to the best of us,” a familiar voice pipes up behind. Jackson pulls my attention away from the anger and rage I’m fighting against. “I wasn'teavesdropping.”
I don't know how much Jackson heard between Mike and me, but I hope he only heard me talking to myself. “It’s okay,” I tellhim.
“See this?” he says, pointing to his ring finger. There's an indent and band of lighter colored flesh compared to the rest of hisfinger.
I study it for a moment, trying to figure out what I'm looking at, but then it dawns on me that it's his ring finger. “Did you lose yourring?”
He laughs with obvious discomfort. “Definitely didn’t loseit.”
“Oh?” I question, waiting for a more detailedexplanation.
“I was married for eight years, I’ve been divorced for eleven months, and this stupid spot won't fill in. She's still torturingme.”
“Geez, I didn't realize that could happen,” I tell him. Seriously, I didn't know skin could shrink likethat.
“It can, it did, and she’d probably love toknow.”
“I guess I can assume you didn’t have the best marriage?” Now that I’m evidently going on a date with this man tonight, I suppose I should know a little more about him than just hisname.
“That’s putting it mildly, but no, I didn't have a greatmarriage.”
I fidget with the straps of my bag, keeping them upright on my shoulder. “So, what happened?” Maybe she cheated on him too. That would just make for a cute coincidence, wouldn'tit?
“She was selfish, lazy, mean, and bored. She didn't like the fact that I had to work long hours, but she would continuously complain that we never had enough money. She told me she was too tired to make meals but insisted on being a housewife, and to add insult to injury, she stayed up most nights texting and talking to her friends while I sat beside her, waiting for a moment of her attention after working a twelve-hour shift. If I tried to get near her, she’d push me away. I lost track of how many times she asked me to sleep in the guestroom.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s terrible,” I tell him. “I may have the perfect match for her if she's still single.” I laugh because I suspect she's going to have a hard time finding a man that's going to please her if Jackson wasn't good enough. On the other hand, he could just be saying all of this. I certainly don't know him very well, considering we just met, but it sort of sounds like my life with Mike, minus the marriage. “She’ll eventually realize what she had. I'm not sure what man would cave to those requirements anddemands.”
We reach the side doors of the hospital and Jackson opens the door, holding it out so I can walk in. “Surprisingly enough, she's already remarried, which is fine by me. I wished the guy good luck when we awkwardly ran into each other in Target a couple monthsago.”
“Wow. I guess it's a good thing you were smart enough to get out when you did,” I tellhim.
Jackson scuffles his shoe against the thin carpet while peering down to his feet as he inhales loudly before spilling out, “Yes, except she’s the one who left me. I'm not a quitter, so I kept making excuses to myself and tried to make itwork.”
I'm not sure what to say in response, but I suppose it’s good I finally grew the courage to do what I was afraid I’d never be able to do. I'm sure Mike isn't through with me yet, though. I imagine I'll have dozens of texts and a bunch of missed calls on my phone tomorrow after I sleep at Mom's again tonight, but I can't go back to him this time. I don't want to have to tell someone someday that my ex left me because I wasn't strong enough to leavehim.
“Well, I guess we have something in common,” I tellJackson.
A hint of a smile pokes at his left cheek. “Hey, again, I know this probably sounds like I've been eavesdropping, which I swear, I haven't been doing, but I overheard some of what you were reading to your grandmotherearlier.”
“Oh,” I say, trying to imagine which part he may have heard. “Yeah, it's pretty heavy. I'm having a hard time digesting some of it. It’s why I went outside to clear my head for a few minutes, but evidently, exes always know the right time to make life just a little moresour.”
