CHAPTER SIX
Emma
As I finish readingGrams’s detailed entry describing her admission to the concentration camp, I hear her breaths turn into soft snores. Reluctant to leave the book behind, I slip it into my shoulder bag and take the opportunity to find a bathroom and a place to grab food. I don't make it very far down the hallway before I run into Dr. Beck as he’s studying a patient’s chart. “Emma,” he greets me. His voice is deeper than I remember from earlier, but still just asprofessional.
“Dr. Beck,” Irespond.
He seems a bit flustered as a paper falls from a folder pinched under his arm. We both lean forward to retrieve the fallen paper, but he reaches it first. While correcting his stance and replacing the paper, a soft sigh hums in his throat. “You can call me Jackson,” hesays.
“Jackson,” I correct myself. “I’m sorry about my grandmother.” He moves the clipboard beneath his arm where the folder is and clasps his hands together in front of hiswaist.
“What do you have to be sorryabout?”
“She shouldn't have been so pushy and intrusive,” I tellhim.
A smile tugs at the right corner of his lips and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “This may be hard to believe, but I have a grandmother just like her. In fact, she does just about anything in the world to embarrassme.”
With the feeling of awkwardness from our not-so-casual conversation, I reposition my bag over my shoulder. “Well, I guess today is my day to take one for the team,” I say, feeling a warm blush color my cheeks what must be a deep shade ofpink.
“Take one for the team?” he questions. “Does that mean you'd rather not go out tonight? I promise I won’t be offended if you don’t want to go out withme.”
I didn't intend to sound like I was complaining. “No, of course not,” I say as I place my hand over my big mouth. “That's not what Imeant.”
“Good.” A grin stretches across his face, pinching against the bottom of his dark lashes. With that, Jackson gently taps the back of his clipboard against my arm and walks off. “See you tonight,Emma.”
My hand is still on my face as I continue walking down the hall. I have a boyfriend. I can't just go out on a date with some guy because he’s a good-looking doctor and I'm being guilted by Grams. It’s been six years of this. No one in my family has liked Mike from the minute they met him. In my defense, I don’t think he was always the person he is now, but maybe I just didn't see it then. I don’tknow.
After grabbing a couple of snacks from the gift shop, I head outside to the courtyard, finding a picnic bench under a low hanging tree.Let's hope there’s a wifi connection out here. I pull my laptop out of my bag, open it up, and place it down on the table. It’s only a matter of seconds before dozens of emails pop up, following a lead weight falling to the pit of mystomach.
I can only see the subject lines, but I swear each one says there’s some kind of problem I have to fix. My career has always come first, but I can hardly think straighttoday.
With a deep breath of the fresh autumn air, I open the first email and begin the succession of responses, knowing I'll most likely be doing the actual updates on their projects at midnighttonight.
“I guess I can be thankful that you made it easy for me to find you today.” Mike walks around from the other side of the tree and unwelcomingly sits down across fromme.
“What are you doing here?” I askhim.
“I came to see how Grams isdoing.”
“Mike, why are you saying that—calling her that? When have you ever cared about Grams? When’s the last time you came with me to visit her?” I let out a groan as I run my fingers through my hair. “I guess what I’m truly interested in is your reason for trying to impress me all of thesudden.”
He weaves his fingers together and rests them on the table, bowing his head as if out of shame, which I doubt to be the case. “I really do want to be with you,” he says,calmly.
“Answer me this, Mike. Did you or didn’t you cheat on me? That could mean anything from kissing to whatever else. Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth.” I’m not sure what he’ll say, but I already know the truth. He has cheated…manytimes.
I pull my laptop screen down and fold my arms over the top of it, looking past him, rather than at his eyes. Since he didn't immediately tell me he wouldn't do such a thing, I’m hopeful for the truth. It would be a change from his typical lies when I ask him this question. You don't just come home smelling like perfume because you were in an elevator with someone, or because they were helping you with a project for two hours. The stories have been quite imaginative, that's forsure.
After a long minute, Mike lifts his head and does as I asked. He looks me directly in the eyes and begins talking, “I slept with someone,” he says with a minimal amount ofshame.
A part of me feels relief for knowing I'm not crazy, and for the confirmation that my gut is always true to me. “So, what, she wasn't as good in bed as I am? Is that why you love me so much right now?” It's harsh, but I know Mike well enough to assume hisreason.
“Emma,” he says with a flustered sigh as if I'm the one being unreasonable. “I don't have the desire to do that again, I swear to you. I was thinking about popping the question and all that jazz. Then I realized how scary forever sounded, and I just got this bug in my head. As soon as it was over, I realized how stupid I was for thinking I needed somethingmore.”
The only emotion stirring inside of me at the moment is happiness, and I'm not sure why. “Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?” I askhim.
“Say whichpart?”
“That you were thinking about popping the question.” I can’t stop the cyclical laughter from oozing out of me. “I'm thirty-one, and we've been together for six years. I've been sitting around waiting for you to mature into the type of man who wants to settle down, all the while, being afraid of moving on from you because I've already missed out on my prime years. I feared starting over and hoping to find someone who would want to be with me and eventually settle down, but in the last five minutes, you've made me realize how much better my odds are of starting over versus what my life would be like if I were to stay withyou.”
