"Raine, if there's anything I can say or do to make this better—?"
"The damage is done," he says with a shrug.
Swallowing hard against my dry throat, I try my best not to look upset or pained by the truth, but I don't know how else to prove how sorry I am, and I'm beginning to see that there aren't enough apologizing methods in this world to fix what I've done.
I unlock the car and open the door. "Thanks again for helping me today. I know you didn't have to."
He shifts his weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable with what I'm saying. "I wasn't going to let you die. I'm not the bad guy here, Haven."
Am I?"I know," I tell him. "That would be me, I guess."
Raine clears his throat and walks around to my door, holding it open so I can slide in. "You're not the bad guy," he says. "Your father, on the other hand—" an angered quiet laugh rumbles in his throat as he stares right through me. "Now he's something else."
I question him, wondering what he knows beyond what I told him years ago. "Yeah, he is," I agree, feeling hesitant to say much more.
"You know," Raine adds in, "remind me to tell you an interesting fact you may not know about your father. Another time, though." He closes my door as I watch the combination of both hate and excitement play through his eyes after teasing me with an unknown fact. Instinctually, I have no problem driving away from the bait because I already know too much, and I'm not sure I can handle any more loose facts about Dad. I have a hard enough time looking him in the eyes as it is. Our relationship is strained to the point of wishing I didn't have a family at all; yet I have remained loyal to an extent, that extent being…I've kept my mouth shut for way too long.
