I feel a little guilty for eavesdropping on him. I don’t even know why I did it. One minute, I was lying in bed waiting for him to come back. The next, I had my ear against the door.
I realize how hypocritical it is to be angry at Roman for conducting business at the club. Especially now that I’m fully in bed with him. My only concern has been Rastelli and the FBI getting wind of it. The minute they find out about this…
I look down at the text that Rastelli sent me two days ago. I’m supposed to meet up with her this afternoon with ‘something’, as she’d put it before. She’d made it clear that I need to do my part if I’m going to be safe when they come for Roman. I wonder how safe I would be if I told her that we’re lovers now. That he’s wrapped himself around my heart in a way that I will never get untangled.
If I were to think about it logically, I could divorce myself from the situation by ratting Roman out. I could rely on Rastelli tokeep me safe when it all goes down. The only problem is that I don’t believe her. The more and more I think about it, the less safe I feel with that option. Maybe it’s because Roman and I have gotten closer. I don’t know. All I do know is that talking to Rastelli no longer feels like the right thing to do.
I can’t tell Rastelli about this meeting. In fact, I can’t even be in this position anymore. I feel dirty even meeting up with her like this.
I get out of my car and walk up to the diner’s door. Meeting with her on the outskirts of town is even more taxing now that Roman has a handle on my schedule. Right now, he thinks I’m at a doctor’s appointment. I had to lie and tell him it was my gynecologist just so he didn’t ask too many questions. I hope he couldn’t tell I was lying.
As usual, it’s dead in here. There’s a couple of people in the booths on the other side of the room, but the section where Rastelli and I meet is as empty as usual. Rastelli sits in her spot, drinking her coffee and facing the door. The moment we make eye contact, she smiles in that motherly way.
“You made it,” she says as I sit down. “I was starting to wonder. You’re about five minutes late.”
“Traffic,” I say without looking up. There’s a cup of coffee on my side of the table already. I glance up at her expectantly.
“Thought you could use it,” she says. “I always start to crash around three o’clock. Consider it a courtesy for the work you’re doing for me.”
I sigh and push the cup aside. “Listen, I’m not going to waste your time today, Rastelli. I don’t have anything for you and,frankly, I think you’ve got the wrong person to be your snitch. I want out of this arrangement.”
Her smile drops slowly, morphing her face into a menacing glare. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I just said. I want out.”
“There is no ‘out’,” she says. “You have an obligation.”
“I can’t do this anymore, Agent Rastelli. It’s too dangerous. If Roman finds out?—”
She sighs. “I already told you, we would protect you. You’re in no danger from Roman Orlov.”
She sounds so convincing. I hate it that she seems to wholeheartedly believe the drivel she’s shoveling. “How? How would you protect me? What happens if I find something and he finds out what I’m doing before I can get to you? You can’t do anything to protect me from him. I don’t think you ever could.”
She narrows her eyes. “Have you been made? Is that where this is coming from?”
“N–No,” I stammer. I didn’t expect her to call me on that so quickly. “I just don’t want to do this anymore, okay? It’s not worth it.”
“Your staying out of jail isn’t worth it?” She’s studying me carefully now, her fingers tapping the table. The sound is like the tick of a clock. “That’s an interesting take. Why don’t you just tell me what’s really going on?”
“I did. I’m afraid?—”
“No, that’s not it. It’s something else. What’s the real issue, Ember?”
I stare at her. She’s reading me like a book and it’s making me uncomfortable. Does she see the truth? Are Roman’s handprints all over my body right now? Can she tell that I’m not the same woman I was when she first approached me?
It doesn’t matter. It’s like I’ve heard Roman say before. They don’t know anything unless we tell them and I’m not telling her a fucking thing.
“Uh-huh,” she says, sitting back in her chair when I don’t answer. “I see what’s going on. I asked you to get closer to Roman Orlov… and you did, didn’t you? A little too close, perhaps?” I clench my jaw angrily and she snickers. “Honestly, I knew that might be a possibility. The weird thing is that I can’t blame you. He is quite attractive.”
“Look,” I tell her, “I just don’t want to do this anymore, okay? I’m not some undercover agent. I wasn’t trained to do this kind of thing, and frankly, I think it’s kind of irresponsible to drop me in the fire like this.”
“Oh, but I disagree,” she says, her smile returning and brightening her eyes like lights. “You’re his girl, now. You’re perfect for this. Much better than one of his brothers. One slip of the tongue during pillow talk and we’ll have everything we need to lock him up.” She slides her cup of coffee to one side, placing her hands on the table and leaning into me. “Do you understand that you currently have everything that we need to get a guy like Roman Orlov? I mean, if you blew him really good, I’ll bet he’ll sell out his entire bloodline to you.”
I scoff. “Now you’re being vulgar.”
“Am I?” She leans in a little more and whispers, “I’m not the one fucking a Bratva boss, am I? That’s a new low in the worldof relationships, incidentally. I mean, what would your father think?”
“Leave my father out of this,” I growl.
