But minutes pass, and I don’t move because she’s laying against me so trustingly, so completely, and leaving feels impossible.
I can feel her heartbeat against my ribs and the slight swell of her belly pressed against my side. It’s so small still and barely noticeable. But it’s a reminder of what she’s carrying.
My brother’s child.
The thought should hurt and fill me with rage or jealousy or that bitter betrayal I’ve been nursing since I found out.
But lying here with her in my arms, feeling her breath even out into sleep, all I feel is... protective. Possessive, yes. But also something softer. Something I don’t have a name for.
She’s mine now. Whatever complicated path brought us here, whatever lies and secrets and betrayals came before, none of it changes the truth.
She’s mine. The baby is mine. And I’m going to protect them both, no matter what it costs me.
Even if it costs me my sanity. Even if it costs me the careful control I’ve built my entire life around. Even if it means admitting that somewhere between hating her and claiming her, I’ve started to feel something I swore I’d never feel for an Ashford.
Something dangerously close to caring.
Her breathing deepens, becoming the steady peaceful rhythm of true sleep. And knowing I gave her that—thatmypresence helped chase away the demons—makes me feel warm.
I should go. I know I should go.
But instead, I pull her closer, rest my chin on top of her head, and let my eyes drift closed.
Tomorrow I’ll tell myself this was about comfort and making sure she was okay after the nightmare. I’ll rebuild the walls and keep her at arms length again.
But right now, in the quiet darkness with her warm and safe in my arms, I stop fighting it.
Just for tonight, I let myself hold her.
13
VERA
I wake alone, which shouldn’t surprise me. Whatdoessurprise me is that the sheets beside me are still warm.
My hand reaches out before I can stop myself, pressing against the pillow where Dimitri’s head was. The fabric holds the heat of his body, proof that he didn’t leave hours ago in the dead of night. He left recently. Maybe minutes ago.
The realization makes my heart flutter.
I roll onto my side, burying my face in his pillow, and breathe in. Cedar and smoke and something indefinablyhim. The scent fills my lungs, makes my pulse quicken, and sends warmth pooling low in my belly despite the delicious ache between my thighs that reminds me exactly what we did last night.
God. Lastnight.
Heat floods my face as memories assault me. His hands on my body. His moutheverywhere. The way he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and he even told me so. The words he whispered against my throat makes my toes curl.
It wasn’t just sex or fucking. It was something else and I will die on that hill. It was nothing like our wedding night. But then reality crashes in, cold and vicious, and I’m shoving the pillow away like it burned me.
What the hell am Idoing?
I sit up too fast, my stomach rolling with a nausea that has nothing to do with morning sickness. This is different. This is revulsion at myself, at what I’ve become, at how easily I’ve betrayed?—
Alexei.
His name lands in my mind like a stone, heavy and accusing. Alexei, who I loved. Alexei, who died less than a month ago. Alexei, whose baby I’m carrying while I'm lying in bed breathing in his brother’s scent like some kind of?—
I press my hands over my face, fighting back tears.
How could I? How could I betray him like this? It’s one thing to be forced into this marriage and submit to Dimitri because I had no choice. But last night wasn’t force. It waswant. Need. I pulled him back when he tried to stop. I begged him not to leave me alone.
