Strong emotions have always been harder to deal with. This is no different. I just have to remember how to deal with them, how to freeze them out.
She looked at Kai out of the corner of her eye.
This would be much easier if he didn’t keep on trying. Why does he? No one else has ever lasted this long, except for Freddy. Maybe that’s why I keep getting the two confused. Neither of them will accept the fact that I’ll never love them.
By the time they reached the little town of Dersen, she had once again buried her feelings under the ice. Kai followed the signs to an inn, where he was somehow able to procure a room for them.
“How were you able to pay for this?” she asked as she followed him up the stairs to their room.
“Peters paid me yesterday.” Kai stepped into a narrow hallway and began scanning the doors until he came to the number five. He slipped the key into the lock and opened it with a creak. “After you, my lady.”
“But you told Pixie that your pay was in the till.” Lizzie stood in the middle of the room and looked around. It was nothing fancy—a bed wide enough for two with a quilted blanket and fluffy feather pillows, a small vanity with a pitcher and bowl for washing, and a cushioned chair in the corner. A braided rug in variations of red and brown covered the floor in front of the hearth.
Kai immediately knelt in front of it and started coaxing a fire to life. “Are you really questioning whether or not I lied to the people who kidnapped you?” He leaned back on his heels as small flames started dancing in front of him.
“Fair point.” She sank down onto the edge of the bed. “How did you manage to find me?”
“I was already on the edge of town when they came through. Peters told me what happened and which direction you went, so I bought a horse and followed. I was just one rider, so I caught up with you well before nightfall. I hung back until you made camp, then watched to see what they did with you.” He closed his eyes. “Those were some of the hardest hours of my life. Please don’t ever get kidnapped again.”
“What happened to the horse?”
He cracked one eye open and smiled wryly. “Of course, that would be the detail you’re concerned about. I had to leave the horse behind. I couldn’t risk it making noise and alerting your kidnappers to my position. It’s either part of your ransom now, or else it’s making its way back to Todden.”
She nodded. A beat of silence passed between them. “What now?”
He sighed. “Now we get some rest. Feel free to take the bed; I’ll be fine in the chair in the corner.”
Lizzie looked at the piece of furniture in question. The green fabric was worn and threadbare, and the cushion on the seat of the chair was flat rather than plump. The back was talland straight, which meant that Kai would either have to spend the night with the posture of a princess at tea, or else sit at an awkward angle that would likely leave his neck sore in the morning.
“Are you sure? I don’t think it looks very comfortable.”
Kai tilted his head in consideration. He nodded slowly. “You’re right. On second thought, I’ll take the floor.”
It was heavenly to lay on a real mattress again. Lizzie closed her eyes and let her head sink into the pillow.
It’s going to be a struggle to go back to camping after this.
Kai shifted on the rug, and a tiny thread of guilt managed to filter its way through the crack. She shoved it back down.
He said he was fine.
He tried to smother a cough, and the thread popped out again.
He also said that every night he slept outside. He was even willing to spend the whole night in the rain. He won’t ask for more than he thinks you’re willing to give him. This bed isn’t any smaller than the tent, anyway.
The guilt won.
“Kai?” she whispered.
He immediately stilled. “What’s wrong?”
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He rose, placing his pillow and blanket on the bed and stretching himself out on the mattress as close to the edge as he could get without falling. He exhaled. “Thank you, Eliza.”
