He arches his eyebrow even higher, but any forced playfulness vanishes from his expression. “That was before he became trapped in a construct with your sister and an army of bloodthirsty Eastlanders.” His voice falls to that hushed tone I know so well. The one that means he’s being his truest self. “I cannot leave him, Nephele. Much as I hate to say this, Neri did teach me some valuable lessons when we fought in the Land Wars. ‘Never leave a fellow soldier behind’ was one of them. And besides. Alexus is a part of me. You know this.”
I press my hands to his cheeks and stare into his dark eyes. “I also know you cannot deliver yourself into the Prince of the East’s hands. Is that what you want? For him to take you?”
The look that flashes across Colden’s face is one I’ve seen before, but I can’t fully place it. In it I see pain—the devastating, heartbreaking kind.
He swallows hard. “No, that isn’t what I want, but this is far more complicated than you realize, Nephele.”
“What Irealizeis that you and Alexus will both be safer ifyoustay here.Please. Let me handle the construct. If I think Alexus and Raina are getting too close to the Eastlanders, I’ll figure out a way to help them.”
“Like you did at the lake?” He shakes his head. “Deny it all you want, but I know what those deaths did to you. What they’re still doing to you. And it will only get worse.”
“I’m denying nothing.”
But Colden is. He tries so hard to hide his emotions. When the situation at the lake happened, he paced the floors until it was over. I knew exactlywhatI was doing andwhy, but some part of him didn’t like it in the least.
“It’s better if I take care of them now than for you to endure more slaughter,” he says. “Iknowmore death isn’t something you want on your hands.” He grinds his teeth, and his eyes shift from side to side, the muscles in his jaw rippling. “It’s my fault anyway. The prince is here for me.”
I grip his chin and force him to look at me. “Stop thinking like that. And no, more deathisn’twhat I want, just like it isn’t what you want, but we may not have a choice. The Eastlanders are the ones who broke the treaty, Colden. We’re defending ourselves.”
I sound so resolute and unbothered, but the truth is that the thought of murdering more Eastlanders makes me sick. I’ve barely slept since I broke that lake wide open to prevent my sister from catching up to a band of the prince’s warriors.
I’m no seer like Raina, and I’m glad, but Icansense people inside a construct, and I have an awareness of certain emotions, like fear, desperation, and even death. I didn’t know the Eastland warriors who died, but I’ve re-lived every moment of their suffering as they drowned beneath the ice, telling myself the loss was necessary. I couldn’t let them remain so close to my family.
“This is what Alexus trained the Witch Walkers of Winterhold for,” I remind Colden. “Our entire purpose is to protect the Northlands and the people of this village.” I clutch the lapels of his blue velvet coat, bringing him closer. “Andyou.Our job is to protectyou,Colden. Let us.”
“I’m not defenseless,” he says. “And I’m tired of being treated like some sacred entity when I’m nothing of the sort. What Iamis a Northlander who was given power over ice and frost by a foolish god. I can stop the prince, Nephele. But you have to let me.”
I shake my head, fighting back tears. “I’m asking you to stayfor me. I’ve already lost my father, and now I don’t know where my mother is or if she’s even alive. Raina is grieving, and all I can do is wonder why. And I’m working so hard to keep track of her and Alexus, but you have no idea how difficult that is. When I try to locate them, it’s like searching for two heartbeats amid a cacophony of vibrations ringing in my head. If you go out there, I’ll be searching for your heartbeat, too.” I press my hand to the center of his chest. “I cannot lose everyone I love, Colden, and I cannot manage Winterhold alone. Please don’t do that to me.”
A deep sigh leaves him, and his body relaxes, his strong shoulders falling. Now I senserealdefeat.
“You’re far more capable than you believe, but fine, I’ll stay for the night at least.” He taps my nose. “But if I do, you must promise me that you’ll rest. You cannot go on like this.”
“Only if you rest with me, because there’s no chance I’m letting you out of my sight.”
A weak smile struggles across his lips as he shakes his head. “You’re such a mother.”
I rise on my tiptoes and give him a peck on the lips. “I take that as a compliment.”
Together, we leave the stables and head back to the castle. I trust Colden in all things, except moments like this. If worry and guilt succeed in consuming his thoughts, he will disappear without a word.
But for now, I have him, and I’m going to try my best to keep him here.
Inside, we head to the castle library and peek around the door. Two dozen witches lounge around the three-story room—resting, reading, or lost in meditation.
We’re all different when it comes to vast magick. Some require absolute silence to concentrate and thus remain in their bedchambers. Others thrive off connecting with other witches. Regardless, all the Witch Walkers in Winterhold are tapping into a construct I built, helping to keep the structure strong while searching for vulnerabilities. Their magick slides along the threads, like fingers plucking the strings of a harp—and I’m the harp.
Colden takes my hand and pulls me away, leading me toward the kitchen. He pushes the door open, revealing a massive spread of food across the worktable. The head maidservant, Rowena, a dear friend of mine, has prepared a massive breakfast for everyone. I love how her name reminds me of my father.
“You’ve outdone yourself, Rowena,” I tell her as she sets two plates of ham, poached eggs, and various breads before us.
“Truly,” Colden says to the woman as he pulls his plate closer. “You are an absolute gift.”
“Just taking care of my children,” she says with a wink of her gray eye.
My appetite has been nonexistent the last few days, but I manage to eat before Colden and I clear away our dishes and turn to head upstairs.
“Nephele needs to sleep, so I’m taking her to bed,” Colden tells Rowena. “No disturbances unless absolutely necessary, please.”
