A quiet beep from Zeke’s watch broke the heavy silence.
“Just the array giving us an update,” he said as he brought up the image. “What a surprise. It says our destination is where you said would be the most likely place we should look.”
He made me smile despite my somber mood. “Little smart-ass.”
“I’ll have you know, my ass is neither smart nor small.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “But if you want to call me sarcastic shit, I’ll wear that coat.”
His attempt to deflect the veiled flirtation didn’t help. My brain couldn’t move past how his ass looked. I exhaled slowly, letting the professional purpose of our mission override the tumultuous emotions swirling within me. My desires, my fears, my history—I carefully boxed them away. I might not be able to act on my feelings for Zeke, but I was going to be laser-focused on keeping him safe.
“Snarky smart-aleck? Is that better?”
“I’m not sure that does me justice.” He flicked the image and it superimposed itself on our windshield. “The latest reading wasstronger than the others. Whatever they’re building, it’s almost finished.”
I frowned slightly, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling. How could he know that level of detail just from the energy signature? Pieces started to click into place. I accepted when he said he’d studied the research Michael had given him. I also didn’t question how he knew so much about the sensors or his almost preternatural understanding of the data we were collecting. I’d chalked it up to him being a brilliant investigator, but there was something more.
“How can you be so sure of that?” I asked carefully, keeping my eyes on the road.
Zeke was quiet for a long moment. He snuck a glance at me before turning off the image. “I studied Drevlin physics and tech before the mission. The spike is bigger than the others.”
My grip tightened on the steering wheel as a kernel of anger took root. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. “That’s a half answer. What’s really going on, Zeke?”
He sighed heavily. “I’ve been trained extensively in Drevlin physics and engineering since I was in my twenties. I’m fluent in how their technology works, how it’s constructed, and how they generate energy. That plus my investigative skills is why Michael chose me for this assignment.”
White-hot fury lanced through me, and I had to grit my teeth to keep from snapping at him. He’d been holding back crucial information that could’ve helped us get a lead sooner. And why? Did he think I couldn’t be trusted? I opened my mouth, an angry retort on my lips, but Zeke beat me to it.
“I’m sorry, Orion. I’m not supposed to talk about it.”
His apology didn’t cool my anger. They dragged me into this when I didn’t want to leave my life. I was trusted by everyone from Gabriel on down. Even Michael wanted me on this assignment.
“It’s not the information, it’s the lack of trust. Did you think I was going to scream this information to the world?” I clenched my fist and glared at him for a moment. “I can’t believe you kept this from me.”
“Don’t give me that, Orion,” he said defensively. “Like you’ve told me everything? You don’t have any secrets you haven’t shared?”
The accusation struck a nerve. Of course, I’d kept things from him—decades’ worth of darkness and trauma I wasn’t ready to relive. But that was personal, not relevant to the mission.
“I’ve not kept anything mission-critical from you.” I tried to keep my anger out of my voice. “My skills are an open book. Anyone can look them up.”
“Oh, we’re moving the goalposts now?” Zeke added a mirthless laugh. “Full disclosure is defined as work related only. Tell me, how would knowing I’ve studied their tech have changed how you approached the mission? Would it help you understand how to monitor and track signatures? Find points of interest? Locate the source? Using your definition, I didn’t need to tell you because it’s not ‘mission-critical.’ I haven’t withheld anything you asked of me, and I won’t, but don’t get mad at me for doing the same thing you’re doing to me.”
My breath caught in my throat as the accusation landed like a sledgehammer. Was he calling me out for more than just professional dishonesty? Did he sense the truth about my feelings that I’d been so desperately trying to bury? He’d also thrown down the gauntlet and agreed to answer anything I wanted to know. I wasn’t prepared to do the same.
The car slowed as the tension thickened. Neither of us spoke, the weighted silence stretching out infinitely. I risked a glance over at Zeke, but his jaw was set in a tight line, eyes locked ahead on the road.
He was right, and I had no reason to be angry at him. We all kept secrets, and he’d never lied or even withheld answers. When I asked about his knowledge, he answered me without conditions.
I was so tempted to tear down the walls between us. To finally show him all the parts of my soul I’d been guarding so fiercely. The fear, the loneliness, the yearning—to lay myself bare so he could understand the depths of what I felt for him. How his radiant spirit had awoken parts of my heart I thought were dead and gone.
But then the voices of doubt crept back in. What if pouring my heart out only to have it crushed again proved too much for me to bear? Handing him that power over me, over my happiness, felt like a risk too large to take.
Unfortunately, we couldn’t continue with things unspoken. We roused the beast, and now we couldn’t ignore it. The churning tension lingering between us was unacceptable. I couldn’t keep Zeke safe if we were at such emotional cross-purposes.
“You’re right,” I said in an emotion-choked voice. “Clearly there’s still a lack of full transparency between us.” My heart thundered in my chest as I carefully weighed my next words. “If we’re going to get through this, maybe it’s time we finally aired everything out. No more half-truths or omissions.”
The weighted pause that followed was deafening. I could feel Zeke’s eyes burning into the side of my head as he studied me carefully.
“I agree.” Zeke’s voice trembled, but he didn’t turn away when I met his gaze. “You can ask me something first.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. He was calling my bluff in a manner of speaking. Putting the onus on me to show vulnerability before he reciprocated.
