The lights power on as the sun drifts into darkness, the stadium bursting with posters and cheers and excitement.
It’s the most anticipated game of Timber Wolve’s season; the Pirates are the second best team in the state.
I stand with everyone else in the stands as we watch on, the boys lined up and the first snap of the play underway.
It’s a surreal moment. Something that’s bitter sweet and I don’t know where to look. If I look at him, I know he’s going to be looking at me. And I don’t know if I can take that.
“You okay?” Ry asks and I can hear the genuine concern in her tone.
It’s been nearly a week since Zach and I have really talked. We’ve exchanged a few text messages back and forth but it’s just not been the same. He hasn’t been over to the house either and from what I’ve heard, the only time Bray and Zach talk is during football. I look over to my brother, wondering just how much this has affected their relationship and if it will show in the gameplay. But there’s a few guys on my brother’s team that he can't stand and you wouldn't know it because he doesn't let personal shit affect his work on the field.
Bray and I haven’t really been the same much either. But he told me that he doesn't blame me, that Zach should have known better and I tried to tell him how I felt, but he didn’t want to hear it. He’s not taking it out on me much, but I can tell that it’s just off.
I turn to Ryen and nod my head before we both turn back to the game.
And I can’t help it. I have to look at him. I can feel his eyes on me and it’s like this magnetic pull. So I look and my emotions flood me.
His eyes are soft and apologetic, but pained. It hurts me and all I want is to fix things, to have them go back to the way they were. But was that really better? I mean, it has to be because this doesn't feel good. And I miss him.
But right now, as Bray starts chanting behind the center, I know that there’s nothing either of us can do about it.
It’s the fourth quarter of the game and it’s not even close. The Timber Wolves are doing the best job they’ve ever done and it seems the boys are as focused as ever despite the animosity that I know brews between them. If you didn’t know, you’d never be able to tell.
Brayden is focused, scanning the line and preparing to delegate the snap. I’ve glanced at Zach a few times, and he’s not looked up at me since the beginning of the game, which I can understand but I won’t lie. I’ve been dying for him to look at me again. But for now, I let him remain focused as they boy tie up the last of the game.
Bray calls for the snap and the center tosses the ball back. I know this play, it’s designed to go out to Zach, who is taking to his route and braking left as he runs in. But when he turns to catch the ball, it’s not there. Brayden changed course and threw to Trayvon, the tight end. The play was fool-proof and though the boys don’t really need to score right now, it catches a few people off guard when Tray catches the ball and soon gets tackled at about half way up the field.
“What the fuck?” I can hear Zach shout in the distance and a few of the guys look between him and Brayden. Even the coach is a little confused but shakes it off.
I guess I spoke too soon.
“Why did he do that?” Ryen asks and I just shrug.
“I don’t know, maybe he just decided to give someone a chance,” I try my best to defend Bray’s actions while not overthinking what he just did to Zach but as Zach runs back to the huddle, I can tell my brother is pretending to be nonchalant about the play.
Zach just breathes it out as they jump back to the line, preparing for third down.
Everyone is cheering, anticipating the next play as the clock runs down; only a few minutes left in the game. But either way,as long as they hold onto the ball they’ll be able to knee it out and secure the win. Though, even if they end up turning it over, the other team has no chance of getting three touchdowns in the time remaining. So, the win is still technically guaranteed.
Brayden signals the snap, and I watch as Zach takes off for his line, but runs into the defender. He’s never done that before. But he catches himself before falling to thee ground and continues his route, getting to the edge of the sideline and running down. Thankfully, Bray has enough time thanks to the offense and he’s able to time out when to throw it out to Zach. If he catches this, that’s another score for Harper High.
The ball flies through the air and I can see the moment Zach turns to catch it. But I also see a play from the other team flying at him, eyes set on Zach. I stand from my seat, heart in my stomach. I gasp when Zach catches the ball flawlessly but before he can gain his footing to head for the end zone, he’s tackled . . .hard.
“No!” I shout as everyone else stands and either goes completely silent or is yelling for a penalty. But the hit was good, I know that. It was just way too rough and Zach wasn’t able to get situated on the ground in time to prepare for the tackle.
Everyone watches on, waiting for what’s going to happen next.
But Zach doesn't get up.
He doesn’t move.
Players from both teams move in close and then turn away, taking a knee or getting to their team’s huddles.
My heart is in panic. He’s not moving. I turn to look at Zach’s parents who aren’t sitting too far from me and my family. They’re both just as shocked and I can see the sense of worry on their faces. I turn to my mom who gives me a reassuring look but I can tell she’s also concerned.
I turn back to the field as the coach runs in and even Brayden starts to run toward him; I can see the terror on his face. It’s onmine too. Water starts to form in my eyes as I watch on, praying for him to get up.
Please. Please get up, Zach.
