Liam watches me with those green eyes that see too much. Doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s cataloging details. Storing them away to examine later when I’m not looking.
“When is Da coming back?” Finn asks around a mouthful of pancake.
“Wednesday.”
“Can he come sooner?”
“No. The schedule is the schedule.”
“But we want to see him more.”
My chest tightens. “I know.”
Liam sets down his fork. “Doyouwant to see him more?”
The question catches me completely off guard.
Both boys are watching me now. Waiting.
“That’s complicated,” I say finally.
Finn rolls his eyes. “You always say that.”
“Because it’s always true.”
Liam doesn’t look satisfied. He picks his fork back up and goes back to eating, but I know this conversation isn’t over. It’s just delayed.
I finish my coffee and try not to think about Wednesday. About seeing Cassian again in four days. About what happens next time we’re alone.
About whether I’ll stop it or let it happen again.
29
CASSIAN
Finn’s eyesare drooping by the time I notice.
We’ve been building for two hours straight, and he’s fighting sleep, rubbing his face with the back of his hand while trying to place another Lego piece on the tower. Liam’s already slumped against the couch, half-asleep.
Aurelia walks in and sees them immediately. “Alright, boys. Bath time.”
Finn protests. “But we didn’t finish the tower!”
“We’ll finish next time. Say goodnight to your da.”
They both hug me, Finn squeezing tight around my waist while Liam just leans against my side. Then Aurelia herds them upstairs, and I’m left alone in the sitting room with their half-built Lego tower.
I can hear water running. Their voices carrying down from upstairs. Aurelia’s patient tone when Finn argues about brushing his teeth. Twenty minutes later she comes backdownstairs. Hair slightly damp from bath time. A tired smile on her face.
“They want you to tuck them in.”
“What?”
“Finn asked. Said Da should say goodnight too.”
Something in my chest tightens.
I follow her upstairs to their room. Both boys are in matching pajamas, already under covers. Finn’s fighting sleep. Liam’s eyes are half-closed.
