Kieran seizes my face, his voice low and fierce. “Look at me, Gen. I have never stopped desiring you. I’ve lived every day of my life wanting you—and knowing that after everything between us, I should hate myself for how you make me feel. Your gift isn’t going to stop me. Butyouwill. I’ll go back to the gentleman you expect me to be, if that’s what you want.”
My heart is beating so quickly I fear it might leap from my chest. He’s saying exactly what I’ve dreamed he would say, yet I’ve denied myself for so long that I never thought Kieran could possibly still desire me after all this time.
“You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted.”
Curse be damned, Kieran leans in and kisses me, and I feel a desperate need to preserve this moment—to catalog it away so I can always remember what it felt like to be kissed, to be desired without wanting to pull away. Without feeling dread blossom in my chest. To have my desire for this man eclipse anything my curse could cause.
Kieran pulls me back onto his lap, his mouth trailing down my neck, leaving hot kisses and caresses until he reaches my breasts. I letout a shudder as he squeezes the weight of one through the confines of my dress.
“I’ve fantasized about you for nearly a decade,” he murmurs against my skin, “but never did I imagine how exquisite you’d become.”
With a tenderness that borders on adoration, Kieran lifts my breast from the confines of my corset, squeezing the soft weight slowly, as if he were holding a precious object. His fingers rub my nipple, making me gasp with anticipation. Then his mouth is on my breast, sucking and licking, worshipful in his attention and ardor.
How can he keep such control over his own desires, pouring pleasure into me in a way I’ve never known? And he hasn’t even touched me between my thighs, yet the attentive way he sucks and licks at my breast makes me wonder if he isn’t in any hurry at all.
“Mustn’t leave the other without attention,” he mutters to himself as he fixes my breast back into place and pops the other out of its constraints. By the time he’s giving this breast the same attention as the last, I find myself wiggling in his lap, desperate to feel his hard length against my core. My skirts, though lighter than a ball gown, are bunched between us, stifling my anguishing need to feel him against me. I rock against him all the same, mortifyingly desperate to feel friction in my hot center.
He doesn’t stop me as he reaches down to adjust my skirts and lifts his hips in such a way that gives me the friction I’m desiring.
“Please!” I beg. My voice doesn’t sound like my own, all my composure wilting away. The carriage lurches suddenly, and Kieran catches me as I nearly slip off his lap.
Kieran tuts, teasing my nipple between his fingers. “Aren’t you eager, Princess? Haven’t you learned over the years to be patient?”
“I’ve never—” I cut myself off, unwilling to admit that I’ve never desired a man as much as I do in this moment.
“You’ve never what? Never been fondled in a carriage? Never allowed yourself to enjoy pleasure? Never thought you’d have me again?”
I let out a keening laugh. “All those things, I believe.”
But it’s true. I’ve dreamed of having Kieran more times than I can count, yet even after he returned to Naseria, even after he kissed me under the willow, I still didn’t think a moment like this would be possible. Not when I’d already signed away my future. Not when I’ve always done what was expected of me.
His wicked tongue sweeps over the swell of my breast, sending me shuddering as the ache between my thighs leaves me pressing my center into his straining length. That must be uncomfortable. While pressing his mouth to my skin, he says, “Well then, if we’re making confessions, I’ll confess I never thought I’d have you on my lap, my cock aching against you and your breasts in my mouth.”
I reach for the fastenings on his trousers, but his hand catches mine, and he gives a quick shake of his head. Alarm courses through me. How is he showing this restraint? Why—now that I feel desired and adored—would he want me to stop?
“No, Princess. I refuse to fuck you for the first time in nine years while in a carriage. Perhaps when I was nineteen I wouldn’t have been able to show that much restraint, but I’ll be damned if I don’t do this properly.”
Something sinks inside me. Perhaps I’ve been mistaken about his feelings. He must truly hate me if he can resist my curse so easily. My disappointment must be evident, because he brings his thumb to my lips, a wicked grin on his face.
“Don’t pout, Gen. It’s a damn travesty to see you look so disappointed.”
I let my bare hands glide through his thick locks, trying not to feel rejected. His composure is disorienting. How can he be so steady, so exacting, while my gift pours into him in pounding waves? I’ve never felt myself slipping so far from control—and yet so desperate to feel the man I’m with lose control.
Just as the carriage bumps again, Kieran lifts me and lays me flat across the bench. Instinctively, my legs clench together, and he gives me a look that threatens to set me ablaze.
“Spread your legs for me, Princess, and I’ll tell you an even more illicit secret.”
“Kieran,” I reprimand him, but it’s halfhearted as I let my legs fall open and Kieran’s hard body comes between them. This feels familiar. He can’t resist my gift after all. “You at least need your pants off for this part, you know.”
Kieran chuckles, shaking his head. “Don’t you want to know my secret, Gen?”
I nod, and he moves my legs so my knees are bent, tugging the skirts of my dress up around my waist. I feel so exposed to him as he stares down at my stockinged legs and the bareness that lies between my knees and the juncture of my thighs. I expect him to lose control at this point—for the rushed need to be inside me to come over him, leaving me feeling discarded. But he continues to hold his composure, a hungry smile growing across his face as he slowly glides his hands up my thighs, reaching my underthings and pulling them down. The lace trim of my undergarments scrapes across my thighs, and I hiss out an exhale as the callouses of his hands join the lace. His touch is firm, yet languid, like he has all the time in the world.
“My secret is that I’ve wanted to have my mouth between your thighs since I held you in the ballroom. Smelling you, feeling yourbody against mine. All I’ve wanted is a chance to have another taste of you.”
His finger trails back up my leg to my slick heat, and he dips it into me, only to remove it and suck his finger into his mouth, a greedy eagerness in his eyes. “Yes, just as I remembered. You taste exquisite, Princess. Like one of your exotic blooms.”
“Kieran, don’t tease me,” I whine, because surely this isn’t what he wants from me. “You don’t need to…”
