I inhale a shaky breath.
“I’m so fucking tired of being fought over like a piece of meat.” My voice cracks, but I push through. “Like I’m some—some trophy for whoever’s cock is bigger. And I’m sick of you fighting like dogs.”
Bastian opens his mouth again.
“I said shutup!”
He closes it.
“Here’s what’s going to happen.” I look between them, these two damaged, gorgeous, fucked-up men who became the center of my entire goddamn universe. “We’re going to stop pretending. Stop lying. Stop playing these fucking games. All this bullshit is stoppingtonight.”
“Pretending?” Kai repeats carefully. I’m guessing he’s trying to sound composed, but there’s tension crowding his shoulders, and his hands are shaking at his sides.
“Yes. Pretending.” I take another breath, this one much steadier than the last. “Pretending that we don’tallwant each other.” The words feel like ripping off a bandage, and from the way Kai flinches, he feels it too.
“That this—” I gesture between the three of us “—isn’t exactly what we’ve all been too chickenshit to admit we want.”
Kai laughs bitterly. “You’re out of your fucking mind. I don’t want this. I wantyou.”
“Seriously?” I turn on him. “You just had his cock in your mouth, Kai. You were hard the entire time. And when he was about to—” I wave at Bastian, at the floor, at Kai’s crotch “—you know…” I flick my hair over my shoulder, staring him down. “Tell me you weren’t getting hard again.”
His face flushes, and his jaw clenches, but he doesn’t deny it.
“And you.” I spin to face Bastian. “You’ve been manipulating us this entire time. Playing us against each other because it’s easier than admitting you actually feel something.”
Bastian shakes his head, his mouth forming a hard line. “Careful, sweet girl.”
“No.” I step closer to him without a thought for how easily he could choke me out or bash my head in.
Where the hell this courage is coming from, I don’t know—and I don’t dare question it. What’s important is that, for once, they’re listening and not fighting.
“You don’t scare me anymore,Professor.” I shake my head. “I’ve got you all figured out.”
He scoffs, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Do you now?”
I nod. “You want us.Bothof us. And it’s not about control anymore. You don’t just want to own us.” I reach up, touching the still-wet blood on his cheek. Watching him flinch. “You want us to want you back. And that terrifies you.”
The silence stretches so long I think I’ve gone too far.
Then Bastian lifts a hand, wiping the blood from under his nose. I’m pretty sure it’s a precursor to more violence, especially when he stares at the blood like a junkie who’s just spotted a dropped baggie. But then I realize his mouth is twitching like he’s trying to suppress a smile.
“You’re right,” he murmurs.
Kai makes a strangled sound. “What?”
“She’s right.” Bastian’s dark eyes move from me to Kai, and for a moment they almost seem to soften. “About all of it.”
“Bullshit.” Kai struggles to his feet, swaying slightly. “You’ve been trying to break me since?—“
“Ididbreak you,” Bastian cuts him off, throwing a condescending glance his way. “But then I fucking fixed you again, so stop whining.”
Kai chuckles wryly. “Jesus, you’re the most egotistical?—“
“You want us both,” I say, receiving a glare from Kai for interrupting him. “Just fucking admit it, then we can figure out what the hell we’re going to do about this.”
Bastian lifts his chin, and I want to agree with Kai so fucking badly. Because yes, Professor Rooke is the most egotistical person I’ve ever met. Except for Kai’s brother, maybe.
But he wears his pride like a shield, and I’ve had the pleasure—and the horror—of peeking behind that untouchable persona more than once.
