Then I spot the liquor bottles peeking out behind one of her shoe boxes.
You’re right, Brain. I’m gonna need that.
I grab the half-full tequila without thinking twice, ripping it out so fast that it clatters against the closet door.
“Where’re you going?” Melissa mumbles, lifting her head slightly.
“I need fucking air.”
“But i’s raining,” she slurs, dropping her head back onto her pillow.
“I’ll survive.” I hesitate, then grab her pastel blue poncho and matching rain boots out of the closet.
She’s already snoring again when I close the bedroom behind me, a disgusted grimace on my face as I juggle the tequila and the tampon glass.
I know where Iwantto go.
Lookout Point.
More specifically, the cliff edge that’s been calling to me like a fucking siren since I came back to this cursed town.
One step.
One step, and it would all be over.
No more nightmares. No more flashbacks. No more Bastian.
No moreanything.
Which means no more Kai, either.
My hand tightens around the tequila bottle as I hurry downstairs, tampon disposed of, glass left to dry in the bathroom. Every step makes my thighs rub together, reminds me that Bastian had them wrenched open only a few hours ago.
I slide behind the Land Rover’s steering wheel, shivering in Melissa’s poncho as the sheen of rain on my face cools. Air whooshes through the vents when I turn the ignition, and I grimace impatiently as I wait for it to warm up. Taking a few swigs of the tequila, I watch the drizzle collect on the windshield and run down in little rivulets.
My hand is on the key, ready to turn the ignition all the way so I can start up the car, and head for the hills…literally and figuratively.
Another swig of tequila, another wince as it burns the lining of my throat. Heat invades me from the inside. Heat buffets me from the outside. My cheeks grow warm, evaporating the dampness from my skin.
No more Kai.
I turn the ignition off with a flick of my wrist.
“Fuck that,” I mutter, taking another swig of tequila.
Ezra put a fucking collar around my neck, and I survived. Kai and Bastian tied me to a fucking bed, and I survived.
I’m not giving in now.
Not yet.
Not tonight.
“Fuck all of you.”
The woods have always been my refuge. Even when I was little and Mom was gone and Dad was...being Dad. I’d play with Kai among the trees, pretending I was safe. Pretending my life didn’t suck.
All I need is a big ass hit of make believe.
