NOAH
I can’t stop yawning. I rub my eyes as another one comes on. I roll my neck side to side, hearing a crack as the kettle boils. I pop a teabag into a mug for Gabe and reach for the instant coffee for myself.
I haven’t been sleeping the best. My mind keeps going back to the day Gabe came home from the lake. I wake at night, heart racing, and have to spend time just watching him sleep. Needing to see the rise and fall of his chest.
Gentle hands land on my waist, warm lips press into the top of my compass tattoo, and I sigh in relief.
“Morning, baby,” I say through yet another yawn.
His arms band around my middle as he squeezes me lightly. “Morning, Blue,” he whispers into my neck. I pour the hot water into our mugs as he holds me. When I turn my head to look at him, there’s tension around his eyes.
“Everything okay?” I ask, turning fully.
“I’m worried about you.” He runs his thumb over the dark circles under my eyes, his own full of fierce certainty, before saying, “I think you should talk to someone. Whoever you’recomfortable with. I know what I did impacted you…” He sniffles, placing his palms on my chest. “I’m sorry I did that to you. I never meant to hurt you.”
His lip trembles as he continues, “I want you to speak to me about how you’re feeling, too, but I think it might be good for you to talk to someone else as well.”
I sag against the counter. I know he’d never intentionally hurt me. But he’s right, and I am struggling to process everything. Loving someone this much and having no real control over what might happen with his mental health, it makes me feel helpless. I can be there for him, support him, but love alone can’t fix it. Gabe needs to do the work. And I need to be by his side.
He places his hands on either side of my neck, thumbs stroking behind my ears as he holds eye contact. “I hate seeing you hurting. I just want you to be happy. I want us to be happy.”
I swallow roughly, seeing so much care in his gaze is almost too much. As much as I always wanted him to look at me this way, I never thought it would happen. And now that I have it, I’ll do anything to keep it. “Okay, I’ll talk to someone.”
I kiss him lightly. “And Gabe, I am happy. I just love you so much, it’s hard to watch you struggle. But I’m not going anywhere. Me and you, we’re gonna besohappy together. I promise.” I drag him in and squeeze tight.
He nods, tightening his hold on me. “Okay, good. I love you too.”
“One more thing,” I begin, bringing my forehead to his. “No more apologies, okay? We’re moving forward.”
Mossy-green eyes search my face, crinkling at the corners before he breathes, “We’re moving forward.”
I’ve got an hour between clients, so I’m using it to lift for myself for once. I need it—the sense of calm and clarity the repetitive action always gives me.
The gym smells like sweat and eucalyptus cleaner. It’s busy enough today, we’ve started doing more classes, and Jules is leading yoga, which has been incredibly popular.
Theo’s spotting me on the bench press. “C’mon, man,” he drawls. “I know you’re stronger than that. Unless domestic bliss has made you weak.”
I grunt through the last rep, rack the bar, and shoot him a look. “You’re one to talk, you didn’t even finish your set.”
Theo smirks, grabbing his water bottle. “Sure I did, benched a little hottie all around my place last night.”
“A little hottie,” I repeat, sitting up. “You’re the worst.”
He throws his head back, laughing.
I run a palm over my jaw. “This hottie… does he have dark hair, bright eyes, and a love of dancing?”
Confusion lines Theo’s face before a look of glee takes over. “Holy shit, are you asking if I’m fucking Ciarán?”
Now I feel like an intrusive asshole. “Um… kinda?”
Theo laughs so hard it turns into a coughing fit, and he has to slam his palm against his chest as he wheezes. He wipes tears from his eyes. “Nah, man. Me and C are just friends. Also, I don’t make a habit of stepping on toes.”
My head rears back. “Whose toes?”
Theo tilts his head at me, grin widening, the kind that says he knows something I sure as shit don’t.
“Mm. Wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.”
