“Only you could make me happy on a day like today.”
“Baby,” I say, and it comes out shaky. It feels like a revelation.
He kisses me on the cheek. Soft and chaste.
My phone buzzes on the table. I glance at the screen.
Zeke:Everything’s covered, boss. Feel better soon.
When I look up, Gabe’s brows are pinched. He glances at his watch, then back at me. “Did you take the day off?”
I give him a sheepish smile. “Yeah. I wanted to be here for you. I won’t smother you, I promise. You can tell me to fuck off, and I will.”
That gets me another one of those lovely little laughs. “I’ll never say that to you. I’m glad you’re here,” he says, snuggling back into me as I breathe in his hair.
“How was the walk?”
“Longer than I thought it would be.” He looks out the window as he talks. “It was nice actually, walking around, seeing the different places we all went as kids.”
“Good,” I murmur, brushing my lips against his temple.
He glances at me, then at the cardigan I stole. “Is that mine?”
“No,” I say, then sigh. “Yes. But boyfriends share everything.”
“Hmm. They do. Remember that when I eat the last Oreo,” he says seriously, making me laugh.
“Do you need anything?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Just this. Just you.”
A long while passes, and we stay there, holding each other. Gabe starts trembling in my arms. His face is tucked against my neck, and I feel the dampness of his tears. It’s been a big day for him, and after everything that’s happened this last week, I’m sure his emotions are running high.
I cup the back of his neck and give a gentle squeeze, then start to rock us gently. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”
“Noah,” he croaks through tears. “I need to say something, but I want you to let me finish before saying anything.”
I hold him closer, trying to anticipate what he might say. He pulls his face from my neck and meets my gaze.
His lip quivers. “It’s selfish,” he chokes out, “but I want to keep you. You make me feel safe, Noah. Safer than I’ve felt in years. And I’m so sick of being afraid. I want you to be mine forever, even though you can do better than me.”
I go to speak, to tell him he’s the best person I know, but he presses a finger gently against my lips. “You do so much for me. You make me so happy, make me feel whole on my best days. And on my worst, you hold me and put me back together.” His voice breaks on a small sob. “I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come back to Willowrun.”
My chin trembles. He takes a deep breath and rolls his forehead against mine. “So, I’m going to be selfish, if you’re willing to put up with all my broken parts. But you need to know it’ll be hard. I have a lot to work through. I want you to be there for it all, but I understand if you don’t want to take on that burden.”
Heavy tears fall down his flushed cheeks, eyes red-rimmed and full of vulnerability and fear. As if he thinks I could even consider walking away from him. He’s the love of my life, my other half, my everything.
“Gabe, no one is better than you,” I say, voice almost hard in its certainty. “I see you. All of you. The way you take care of people, even when you’re hurting. The way you love your brother, your niece. The way you’re a friend people can count on. You’re kind and gentle and giving in a way most people couldn’t dream of being.”
I press my hand over his heart. “You will never be a burden. You’re the best person I know. So I’m the selfish one for wanting to keep you. I want you to be mine—my everything. My forever. I’ll be selfish a thousand times over because I’m not letting you go. You’re allowed to have bad days,” I add. “You’re allowed to have bad weeks. You’re allowed to be a person. And I want to be the one that’s there for you.”
“Do you really mean that?” His voice sounds small and unsure, but I hear the desperate edge of hope.
I bring my hands to his face, using my thumbs to wipe away the moisture there. “Do you remember months ago when I told you I was lonely in the city?” He nods, dark waves shifting across his forehead. “You told me you saw me.” I lock our eyes. “So see me, Gabe. See that I mean every word. See that it’s me and you, and that’s not ending. I won’t let it. You are mine, and I am yours. I won’t give you up for anything.”
His shaking fingers press into my chest.
“I love you.” The words living inside me for so long finally break free. “Not some idea of you. You. Exactly as you are.”
