“It worked, so yeah. Since I was getting one, there was no talking Lil out of getting one, too.”
“Okay, so which thing did you get first? The flamingos?”
“No, the chicks with guns. We had just spent a shit ton of time down in the basement learning like everything about guns. Felt fitting, you know?”
“Yeah. Bet your mom freaked out when she got home.”
I cringe at the memory. “God, she was so pissed. I’ve never seen her so mad at Dad. So then I cried because it was my fault, and she felt terrible about making me cry, and…” I slowly exhale, my finger moving back and forth along the beads. “It was a big mess. We promised we wouldn’t get more until we were a little older.”
I drag my gaze away from his wrist and up to the eyes I so easily get lost in. Forcing myself to not do so now, I chew the inside of my lip before saying, “We take promises very seriously.”
“I know. Is that what the heart tattoo is? A broken promise?”
Swallowing, I nod. “Yes. We… we tried. I really tried, Beefcake.” I close my eyes and take a couple of ragged breaths, remembering how the hyper-fixation had set in so deep I felt like I had ants in my blood. “I couldn’t get it out of my head. I loved everything about that first tattoo. I caved. We ordered shit to do some ourselves. And we took turns practicing on the fake skin, but as you can see, we weren’t so great at it. So we swore to keep them a secret and didn’t get any other tattoos for a few years. By then, Mom and Dad were more on board with us doing what makes us happy even if it goes against the norm.”
“And what makes you happy, Ariana Ray DeVille?”
I let out a breathy laugh. “Being myself makes me happy. Being free to go where the dopamine takes me. Being accepted and loved.”
He moves his hand from my hip to my cheek. “I’m sorry it took me a bit to get there. Accepting you for you.”
“It didn’t take youthatlong.”
His expression becomes serious. “I am not fucking worthy of you.”
My head tilts as I look at him. “Yes, you are.”
“I loved you right away but was trying so hard to fight my feelings that I focused on stuff I didn’t understand. I shouldn’t have tried to change you.”
“Wanting me to drink water and eat veggies isn’t trying to change me, per se. But it’s good that you realize it’s a lost cause.”
He purses his lips. “Mmhmm. Never going to stop doing that. Gotta take care of my house-cat-plant.”
“I am what I am.” I yawn what I’m sure is a horribly unattractive yawn. But the way he smiles softly at me makes me think he doesn’t find it unattractive.
He leans in and presses his lips to mine. “My girl is tired.”
Humming in agreement, I roll over and snuggle up against him. His hand lands on the mattress in front of me. “Okay, I’m losing feeling.”
Chuckling, I take the stretched-out bracelet off his wrist and slip it back onto mine. It’s a little loose now, but I don’t mind.
Luca pulls the covers over us. “Don’t forget to make me some. I’m in my Midnights era, FYI.”
“That’s a good one,” I say sleepily, my eyes already closed.
I jolt awake to a knock on the door. It cracks open, and Lil’s voice drifts in. “Are you both dressed?”
“What’s wrong, Lil?” Luca asks, his voice raspy from sleep.
She sighs. “I’m having a hard time sleeping alone. I’m not used to it. I’ll get used to it. I will. I promise. But nothing’s working tonight.”
Ah, fuck. My poor Lil. She was so damned sure she would be okay sleeping in her bed alone and basically pushed me out of the room tonight when I almost chickened out for a third time. I know we started sleeping in the same bed because of me, but it’s been our normal for a very long time. I was worried it would be harder for her than she thought.
“Give us a minute.” Luca kisses my temple, then gets up to pull on boxers and shorts. He brings the shirt I stole from him and wore in here earlier over to me and helps me into it.
I cup his cheeks. “You’re an exceptional man,” I whisper. He takes my hand and we walk to the door. Lil’s standing in the hallway, looking sheepish.
“Come on, cuz.” Luca gently pushes her toward her room and we all climb into her bed. After I put on panties, that is.
