I stare at him and swallow the lump in my throat as he wipes my tears away. My fingers tingle, and I breathe his scent to ground me. But nothing can do that, because it’s decision time.
Fight or flight.
This moment will change my life forever.
“What do you need from me?” he asks, holding me against his warm chest.
I lock eyes with him.
My arms tremble and my heart thuds as I whisper, “I need you. I need you to do everything I’ve fantasised about.” I swallow loudly. “Please take me to bed and give me what I’ve never had.”
CHAPTER 51
Niki
Icup her face, and she leans into it. “Are you sure? What’s changed?”
Her gentle smile makes me shiver with hope. “Nothing and everything. You’re the best man I’ve met. You’re kind and caring, so sweet, and you think about me in ways no one else would consider.” I cock my head as her speech quickens. “And I can’t stop thinking about the moment on the bathroom floor. I’ve spent so long scared of doing anything with you, that now I’ve decided to, I can’t think about anything else.”
She pants, and I debate whether to stop her with a kiss or let her talk it out.
“And you’re so fucking hot, Niki. Like a literal god amongst us mere mortals. Have you seen yourself? You should, because you’re sexy as hell. I can’t stop wanting you, and I’ve tried for the sake of my sanity.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“Not because there’s anything wrong with you, because there isn’t, but because the issue is me. I’m worried you won’t enjoy it with me?—”
I brush her fingers against my lips. “That’s impossible. I can’t get enough of you. We’ll make it work, and we’ll learn from each other. I can’t stop thinking about your mouth taking my dick and how you came on my fingers.”
“It was good, wasn’t it?” she asks sheepishly.
“The best ever. So don’t worry that you can’t make it good. You’ve already given me all I could ever want. Tell me what you’ve never had, angel. I want to give you everything.”
“I’ve never had anything,” she stutters, “not an orgasm during sex or someone go down on me or…anything.” Her face falls.
I kiss Rosie softly. She tastes of the chocolates I left beside the bath for her.
She pulls back.
“Is it okay to kiss you?” I ask.
“Yes, but…” Her mouth twists with her anguish. “I know we like power play and control, but I’m not sure I want that right now.”
A wisp of hair falls across her eyes and I tuck it behind her ear, stroking her neck with the tip of my finger.
Barely an hour ago, I thought she’d never choose me, and yet now I’m pressing kisses to her cheek, jaw, and throat. She swallows as my hands roam her curves. “I don’t need you to call me sir or follow my control. I want soft and gentle. I want what you want.”
Her eyes brighten with a hope that gives me the confidence to trust I can do this. I sweep away the last of her tears with my thumb and lead her to our bed.
Rosie sits in front of me, her legs tucked underneath her. “I’m laying ground rules that I should have laid yesterday to ensure it’s good for you,” I explain.
“What about you?”
“I’ve got the safe word in case my anxieties are too much. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got me and you.”
Her eyebrows press together. “Okay. What are the ground rules?”
“We stop at any point. If something hurts or you need a moment, you say stop, and we will. Contraception is a must. After telling me you wanted to ride me while wearing a cowboy hat last night, I found my old stash in case.” Her eyes are wide, and her mouth drops open. “Too presumptuous?”
