There’s a tug on my heart. Even in a beautiful hotel room in the middle of Monaco, I’m desperate to smell her hair and tuck her into bed.
“You didn’t tell Grandad the monkey was grumpy like him, did you? He might not like that.”
“I did. And he said I wasn’t allowed an ice cream, but Grandma gave me one.”
I stifle my giggles as Dad says in the background, “She should be in bed.”
“She’s going now,” Mum hisses.
“Did you have a good day, Mummy?” Tabi repeats the question I asked her. My girl’s growing up.
“I had a lovely day. I travelled in a plane,” I say as I easilyrun a comb through my Jasmine scented hair. How can I get bottles of this conditioner?
“An aeroplane?” she shouts, making me jump. “Uh-oh. Grandad is cross. Bedtime. I miss you, Mummy.”
“I miss you, too, nugget. Be good for Grandma and Grandad tomorrow.”
“I’m always good.”
“Yes, you are. Goodnight. Sleep tight.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” She giggles. “Goodnight.”
“We’re putting her to bed,” Dad says.
“Don’t forget her nightlight. She’s still scared of the dark.”
“It’s all ready for her.”
“Is she definitely okay?” I ask.
“She’ll be tired tomorrow, so we have a day of movies and a trip to the park planned. But she’s fine. You’re giving her a good life.”
Tears brim my eyes. “Mum’s worried this job is taking me away from her. I’m scared I’ll miss out on something.”
“Sweetheart, your mum worries about everything. You will miss out on things. You can’t be with her every second, and shouldn’t be, because that’s unhealthy. Besides, missing things doesn’t make you a bad mother.”
“Thank you.” I fight back tears.
“But don’t miss out on living because you think you can’t be a mum and a woman in her own right,” Dad says. “You can have many good things in your life, including Tabi.”
“Why are you acting so nice, Dad?”
He chuckles. “Partly because your mum told me what she’d said yesterday, and I knew you’d overthink that, but mostly because I spent a day with Tabi and realised how hard you’ve worked to give her a good life.”
“Thank you.” I hug myself. “I get scared because I was so young. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You’re doing brilliantly. It doesn’t matter what age youare. Parenthood is bloody hard. Nothing can prepare you for it, and things rarely go to plan. But Tabi is a credit to you. Now go live your life. She’s fine. And I’ll talk to your mum. She’ll come around eventually. Love you.”
“Love you, Dad. You’re not as grumpy as Tabi says you are.”
His laughter’s warm, and I cover my mouth to stop the tears. “I put it on for her. I love her cheeky laugh. It reminds me of yours at that age. Bye, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Dad.”
My chest heaves with sobs. I don’t know what I want or what to do about Niki, but no one can help me, because it must be my decision.
The door opens. Niki runs to me and gathers me in his arms. “What’s wrong? Was the bath all right? Is Tabi okay?”
