“I want the best for her, too,” I say as I walk towards the door. “I’ll keep checking in tonight, okay?”
“Okay. See you Monday when you pick up her things. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Mum.”
I need to focus on achieving my goals and ensuring Tabi has everything she needs. If that means denying my desires, then so be it.
Niki and I will remain boss and assistant.
Nothing more.
CHAPTER 39
Niki
Graham stares as I pace my hallway. Rosie isn’t due for another half hour. I should leave her be, but my thumb hovers over the call button.
I must cancel the haircut. I can’t cope with how she’ll react when she sees my scars. She’ll freak out.
I grit my teeth.
Rosie’s the only one who’s seen them since Connor and Senna witnessed them during a video call a year ago from my Greek villa. But Rosie saw them in the dark. I’d thought that Senna and Connor wouldn’t react, but I can’t forget their horror. Rosie might do the same.
And she might cut me while trimming my hair.
Could I get another infection?
Graham whines and waddles to me as I crumple onto the ground.
He lays his head against my arm as tears brim my eyes. I’ve barely slept at the idea of someone touching my scars. Rosie is a good person, but this is a side of myself I’ve not shared with anyone.
Scruffs of hair itch my neck as Graham sitsin my lap. I tried calling her earlier, and she cancelled it. She’s fed up with the anxious boss who won’t leave her alone.
My doorbell goes, but I don’t answer it. Graham’s love is the only thing grounding me.
The doorbell goes again, and a tear slips down my cheek.
I don’t want anyone to see me like this.
“Please go away,” I whisper.
I lean my head against Graham and cover my ears. I thought I was better, but everything I’ve achieved over the last months is a lie, because I’ll never be okay.
I’ll be scared and broken forever.
The scent of soap and honey fills my lungs. It accompanies Rosie’s touch. She lifts my hands gently off my ears.
“Niki, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”
My tears fall in big drops. Staring at her concerned eyes as Graham licks her and cuddles me, I realise my anxiety has played me. She won’t freak out about my scars. She’s here for me. Of course she is. She’s a freaking angel.
I sit on a chair in my bedroom with Rosie beside me, her body close enough to give comfort.
“You want me to shave it? Not trim or anything else?”
“That’s all.” I hold my cap against my head like it’s my safety blanket. “Shave it so I won’t need it cut again for ages.”
I can’t remove the cap.
