I’ve said the wrong thing, but I don’t know what it was.
“Is it okay if I come in late on Friday? It means I can drop things off at my parents’. I’ll work later, and I can cut your hair that day so you’re all set for Monaco.”
I open and close my mouth and pull on the back of my neck.
“Okay. I’ll probably work from home that day.”
“I’ll do it at your house,” she says.
My phone rings, and I answer while making goldfish impersonations.
“Hey, Niki. Mum and Dad are in Monaco for the race this weekend and want to have dinner with us on Saturday night. I explained you like to be alone before the race, but Dad insisted. Is that okay?” Senna says.
“Sure,” I reply, but my attention remains on Rosie, who bites her nails as she exits my office.
CHAPTER 38
Rosie
“You’ve got everything you need?” I ask my mum as I place different items on the spare bed in my parents’ house, smoothing them before organising them in order of colour. “There’s five changes of clothes, two sets of pyjamas, and?—”
My mum takes my hand and stills it in hers. “Thank you, Rosie. We’re excited about a whole weekend with our granddaughter. We will be fine. We brought you up, remember?”
I face her, trying to ease the jittery energy that’s bubbled in me since I woke.
“But I’ve never left her overnight, let alone three nights.”
“You need a night out and a rest. This way, you’ll pick her up from preschool on Monday rested. You’ve worked too hard at that car company.” I love that, to my mum, the team that’s fifth in the constructors’ championship of Formula One, one of the most high-profile sports in the world, is “that car company.” “Are you happy there? Because there’s still a job for you at Denham Carpets.”
“I’m doing well and?—”
“But is it good for Tabi? You’ve been here half an hour,and you’ve checked your phone three times. That’s not the best environment for your daughter.”
I take a breath. I can’t tell her I’ve checked my phone three times because I’m going to cut my boss’s hair at his house later and I’m worried it’s going to make me so fucking hot for him I’ll combust.
“It’s nothing. I’m sorting out the restaurant where Niki’s eating in Monaco tomorrow night.” I’ve managed the booking to ensure he’s not at risk of getting ill from possible germs and to request the staff don’t reveal his germ fear in front of his parents.
“It’s another world, isn’t it?” Her lips pinch.
“It is.”
“And it’s not your world. Remember that. You dress Tabi in Coulter T-shirts, and you’re obsessed with this job, but it is a job. These people are millionaires who travel the world and live an extravagant lifestyle, but at the end of the day, you’re a mum and a normal girl.”
I run my fingers over Tabi’s Coulter Team T-shirt. “Right.”
“You want to be a sports psychologist in the future, but you must put Tabi first. You should work at Denham’s. Your dad and I can make room for you in the office again. You could work part-time. Your dreams are important, but you’ll have a whole future for that once Tabi grows up. She starts school in September. This is your time to focus on her.”
I run my tongue along my teeth. “I’m managing this. I’m not doing less for Tabi. I’m giving her a good life and a good future. I’m valued for my insight and my skills. My job at Coulter means a lot, but it will never mean more than Tabi.”
“When I put you first, it looked very different than this.” My mum holds her hands in the air. “But you do what you think is best.”
“I will.”
I remember Niki’s words about me being a mum and putting Tabi before everything. The kiss was a one-off, fuelled by adrenaline and foolishness. I can reach my goals, prove I can do it all, and show my parents as well.
I peck my mum on the cheek as my phone rings. It’s Niki. My mumtsks, and I cancel the call, sliding the phone in my pocket. “I should go.”
“Back to work,” she grumbles. “I want the best for you and my granddaughter.”
