He grabs my hand. Is his hand clammy, or is that mine? “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about racing. It’s an idea at this stage, and I’m not?—”
I squeeze his hand, and he laces his fingers with mine. “It’s okay. You’ve got to do what’s best for you.”
He freezes. His mouth turns down as he winces at Scott. “Okay.” It comes out as a whisper. “And you’ve got to do what’s best for you and Tabi. I’ll find you later?”
I nod, and he pecks my cheek before walking to Filip.
My heart is torn. Niki and I are moving in different directions. He must chase his dreams without anyone getting in the way. I won’t let me and Tabi be someone’s future regret.
I’m seconds away from catastrophising. It’s like a ball of fire is rolling across our relationship, and everything’s on the cusp of igniting.
I glance at Scott. I need to put my girl first. Always.
I rejoin the group. “Scott, I’ve something to tell you, but can we do it away from everyone?”
Before we have a chance to step away, Senna and Connor stride towards us.
“He’s got the same eyes as Tabi,” Connor shouts, and everyone blanches, except Senna, who’s nudging Connor to keep quiet.
“Who’s Tabi?” Scott asks.
Connor looks around the group but doesn’t pick up on the awkwardness. “Rosie’s daughter. She’s the most adorable child. How old is she? Like three?”
“She’s nearly five,” I reply, and Scott’s eyes widen. “Scott, can we talk over here?”
I drag him away from everyone. He stumbles as he follows behind me. “You have a daughter that’s nearly five?” he splutters. “Shit. Am I…I can’t be. Am I her dad?”
I nod.
My heart won’t stop racing, and my lips tremble. “I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’ve got a lot to tell you.”
He looks dazed as he presses his palm to his forehead. “Yeah, I guess you do. Let’s find somewhere to chat.”
CHAPTER 71
Niki
“If you want to drive for me, there’s a space if the price is right,” Filip explains. The news should make me shout with joy, but sickness floods my belly.
I fist my hands as I consider Rosie. Scott’s and Tabi’s faces spin in my head: their black curls, green eyes, and even the cheeky smile they share.
“Niki,” Filip barks.
“Let me think about it.” I can’t process everything. I pull my lips into my mouth to stop from saying anything I shouldn’t.
“You’re an exceptional driver, but this space is available for a week. You’re not the only person we’re talking to.”
I nod. “Who’s leaving the team, and do they know?”
Formula One is cutthroat. My sister runs her team with kindness and respect, but many teams ditch drivers after several bad races. I can’t even process this news in front of a man like Filip in the way I need to.
“If someone loses their edge, I have to consider other options. Let’s keep our conversation going this week.”
I stumble to the Coulter Team debriefing, remembering something Jacs once said about Filip. He’ll ditch someone as soon as they’re a problem. She was a mechanic for them years ago, and I believe something happened, but she’s refused to say more.
Coulter Racing supported my health anxiety and mental health, even when they didn’t know the reasons for my behaviour.
I wouldn’t have survived at Vessa.
