I walk to the kitchen, balancing the plates.
“Niki, you’re meant to be playing,” Tabi says.
I turn to find a blushing Niki gawking at my bum. I wink, which makes him blush brighter.
I want him so bad. He’s playing dolls with my daughter. I didn’t know I could be this happy.
My phone vibrates with a message from a parent of a child from Tabi’s preschool.
Sally: Hey, Rosie. How are you? Sorry to bother you, but we haven’t gotten your RSVP for Gregory’s birthday party next month. Is Tabi coming? Gregory would love her there, and the whole group starting school in September are going.
Gregory is Tabi’s friend, and she’d usually jump at the chance to spend time with him, but I don’t remember an invitation.
Rosie: Could you remind me of the date, time, and location?
I glance at Niki, who holds up a doll and says in a witchy voice, “Cinderella, you can’t go to the ball. You have to clean and cook.”
Tabi’s doll pretends to cry as she replies, “But I want to wear a pretty dress.” She shoves another doll at Niki. “You have to pretend to be the fairy godmother now.”
He puts on a sweet lilt. “Hello, Cinderella. I’ll magic you a pretty dress. You shall go to the ball.”
I sigh happily as the dolls dance. A millionaire racing driver is playing dolls on my living room floor.
I remember he said in his office that I should’ve seen him before when I’d commented he was glorious. I’m scared he’ll realise I don’t fit with the person he wants to be, the old Niki. His reassurances have helped, but I must protect my daughter at all costs, which means protecting my future.
A beaming Niki helps Tabi pick out dresses for Cinderella to wear to the ball.
“Not that one,” Tabi says. “That’s for when she marries the prince. It’s my favourite dress. I wish it was big enough for me. Would you like to see my princess dresses?”
Niki smiles. “Fashion show?”
My betraying heart whispers to forget the future, becausenothing will be as good as this moment, as a reply from Sally comes in.
Sally: Here’s a picture of the invite.
Staring at the invite, I realise my girl has learnt to hide things from me, because the location reveals why she didn’t want to go. A dark cinema would be her worst nightmare.
An hour later, Tabi sits between me and Niki on the sofa, and Graham covers Niki’s lap as we watch an old version ofCinderella.
“Tabi,” I broach, “I got a message from Gregory’s mum. He’s having a birthday party.”
Tabi plays with Graham’s ears. Niki glances between me and Tabi.
“Did you hide the invitation because it’s a cinema party?” I ask softly.
Tabi’s lower lip wobbles, and I pull her into my arms. “You’re not in trouble, honey.”
She presses her face to my chest and nods. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this in front of Niki. I’ve spent the last four years scared I’ll mess my child up with every decision I make.
Sorry, I mouth to Niki, but he holds my hand and squeezes it. It’s the comfort I didn’t know I needed.
“Are you scared because it will be in the dark? Is that why you hid it?”
“Yes.” She sobs against my T-shirt.
I pull her back, and she scrunches up, her eyes closed and her body tight. “It’s okay, nugget. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but you can’t hide things like this.”
“I don’t want to be in the dark, and if I get scared, the kids will laugh at me.”
