“Ohhhh... our baby girl’s awake. She must like her daddy’s voice.”
“Daddy?” I can’t hide the shock from my expression or my voice.
“I figured since we’re together now, that's what she would call me. Every little girl deserves to have a daddy. You're not gonna deprive her of that, are you?” He frowns at me.
“She needs to know who her real daddy was, and that he would have loved her. I thought we agreed, you would help her know who he–”
“Yeah, and I will, but she’ll still call me daddy, won’t she?” There's so much hope in his eyes, I don’t want to crush it, but leading him on just isn’t fair.
“Greaser, we need to talk about us and how fast all this is moving. I don’t even know if–”
“Wow, there she goes again,” he interrupts me, reaching down to kiss the spot where she just kicked. “Doesn’t look like Daddy's little princess is gonna let Mummy get much sleep tonight.” He laughs some more before he looks up at me. “Thank you, Alicia.” He kisses me there again before climbing up the bed and kissing my lips. Again, I try to find some happiness in it, but it just feels wrong.
“What are you thanking me for?” I gently push him away so I can breathe.
“For being such a good mom already, and making the best decisions for our little girl. For changing my life, and making me wanna be a better man. Before you, I thought about ending it all. I had nothing to live for, and now I feel like you're giving me the whole world,” he tells me, putting a lump in my throat as he snuggles up against me and holds me tighter. “I’m gonna treat you like a queen, Alicia Peterson.
I wonder where I am when I first open my eyes, then I remember... The motel, the way he held me like he was scared I’d run away, and the twist I felt in my stomach when I thought about how worried Vike must be. I get up and look in the mirror, feeling groggy from having slept in my clothes, but there was no way I was taking them off and sleeping in my underwear like Greaser suggested. I feel terrible for the way I feel towards him; the man has shown me nothing but kindness. It’s obvious how much he wants us to build a future together, which is why I can’t let this go on. I’m starting to feel out of control, and letting him believe that I want this too is cruel.
“Morning, precious girl.” He comes out of the bathroom, drying off his hands, and the shirt he’s wearing is covered in oil. “I fixed up the car while you were getting your beauty sleep, so we’re good to go.” He moves in on me, sliding his hand behind my ear and kissing me softly. I see the disappointment on his face when I pull away, and once again, it makes me feel awful.
“I haven’t brushed my teeth.” I smile, not wanting to ruin his mood. I’d much rather have the talk we need to have when we’re back home. “We should get back.” I head for the door, eager to get home so I can consult with the girls and figure a way out of this mess I’ve got myself in.
“Last night was incredible,” Greaser tells me, stroking my thigh as he drives us home. “Holding you, smelling your hair whenever I wanted. I don’t know how you get any sleep with her rolling around inside you the way she does,” he laughs. “I can’t believe I get to do that every night now; none of this seems real, does it?”
“Nope.” I smile back at him guiltily.
“You know, Mom insisting we leave with that dress gave me an idea. We should get married before she gets here.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He surely can’t be serious.
“Greaser, we can’t get married; we hardly know each other, and I?—”
“I know enough about you to know there ain’t another woman in this world I’d want other than you,” he tells me. “You want the same last name as your kid, don’t you?”
“I haven’t given it much thought,” I admit, feeling the pressure on my shoulders getting heavier.
“Well, it’s a good job I have. Alicia, fate chose you to be a Stowman.” He rubs my tummy. “You don’t have to wear the dress, you can get a new one, and we don’t have to make a big fuss of it all; we can just go to city hall and— Fuck, I’m freaking you out.” He shakes his head when he notices my startled expression. “I’m getting too excited and ahead of myself. I’m sorry.” He laughs at himself.
“It’s fine,” I assure him, glad to hear that he’s not fully lost his mind.
“I just can’t believe that a girl like you could love a man like me.” He smiles sadly. “Now I got ya, I guess I’m just scared I’m gonna lose you.” His admission makes my stomach flip. “Our dad wasn’t around when we were kids. I don't want that for our little girl. I want her to know, every day, how much she’s loved.” He pats my tummy and returns his hand to the wheel, making me question everything and wish I could have feelings for this man who wants so badly to make us a family.
“You look like shit,” Polly tells me, placing another coffee in front of me.
“I didn’t sleep all night,” I explain, scratching my beard, staring at the door, and willing Alicia to come through it.
“The girl’s gonna be fine, everyone knows Greaser’s crazy about her,” she assures me, having no idea that her words only make me feel worse. I knowexactlyhow crazy he is for her, and I don't know how the fuck I’m gonna feel if it’s too late and she’s given herself to him.
Eventually, the door opens, and that smug bastard steps through it, holding her hand and looking right at me like he’s the fuckin’ victor.
“Hey, everyone,” he greets the room, and I wanna knock the grin off his face as he steps up to the bar. But Alicia pulls away and heads straight for me.
“Vike, I’m so sorry I didn’t call...my battery died. Greaser had no service and—” she starts to explain and is getting herself all worked up.
“Hey, you’re home now, it’s fine.” She looks tired, and I don’t want her panicking over me.
“Vike, we really need to talk.” The shake in her voice makes me nervous; she can barely look me in the eye.
“Are you ok?—”
