She continues her thought. "Which is why I want you to help me." Her perfect lips curl into a soft smile. "But you have to give me the space to do things my way."
"You also need to respect my process." The urge to cross my arms to keep even a flimsy wall between us pricks at my muscles.
"Fine." She agrees. "But no more hissy fits."
"I can’t make that promise," I whisper as I let my thumb brush along her soft skin on the inside of her arm one last time. Her skin is warm, but still cooler than mine. Little goosebumpsraise on her bicep with each pass and the desire to touch her everywhere flashes like lightning through my body. My next words are whispered on the shallow breaths I’ve sustained myself on for this conversation. "I question my very sanity around you."
Laney responds with a sharp gasp of air. The sound, the image of her slightly parted lips, the pure excitement in her eyes will keep me up at night.
With an unspoken agreement we decide to break the charged moment between us. She squares her shoulders and I let my hand fall back to my side.
"So, we’re good?" She asks tentatively.
"Yeah, we’re good. Are you ready?"
"Readier than you are." She nods to my bike that is leaning against the back of a bench a few yards behind us. Her smile is flirtatious so I’ll let both of us off the hook and lean into ease and surface level connection.
"Alright, that’s enough sass out of you. I’m the coach. I’m in charge."
Her eyes flick down over my body before snapping back up to my face.
"Yes sir." Her words cause a stir in my lycra. Laney has no idea what she could unlock in me. Fuck, just imagine the ways I could train her outside of the sport.
I clear my throat, a signal to clear my head, and turn to my bike.
"I want to test your fitness on the bike. Next week we’ll start our brick training when we stack disciplines on top of each other." I tell her as I swing my leg over the seat. "Today it’s an easy pedal to warm up, and then transition into some intervals."
"Works for me." She says as she pulls behind me.
Free from her in my direct line of sight, I let my mind reel as my feet find a comfortable cadence. I wasn’t lying when I saidchaotic was the nicest way to describe my life before recovery. I’m not ready to reveal my entire sordid history to Laney. She’s too pure, too innocent to be dragged down by my past.
For years I have avoided media attention because I didn’t want my achievements to be in relation to the before times. I didn’t want it marring my reputation. A few of my closest racing buddies know but it took years to open up to them.
As far as I know, no one else on the circuit right now has a drug misuse past. Most of them grew up in athletics before becoming an elite triathlete.
But I know for a fact my strict routine, my regimented training schedule, and my calculated diet is an advantage.
Laney has natural ability, natural determination, and with the right guidance from me she’ll excel.
I can’t possibly know what she’s thinking of me as she follows me along the gently winding path. Tall natural marsh grasses and wildflowers fill the strip of land between the trail and Lake Michigan.
The juxtaposition of pristine meadows leading to the lake to my left and the urban landscape to my right is like being trapped between two worlds.
The only sounds between Laney and I are the ambient hum of rubber on road and the occasional click of a gear change.
Is Laney looking to find community within TP races? Or is there something else behind her drive to compete? Creating friendships with other athletes has been difficult for me at times because of how seriously I take it. And how driven I am to excel and push myself to the next level.
Plenty of people run TP races “for fun” but the idea grates my nerves. I know they’re working hard, but it is difficult not to dismiss their efforts outright.
Because this sport is so much more for me.
This sport is my lifeline.
And, I think it’s Laney’s too.
After ten minutes, I sit up in my saddle and turn over my shoulder toward her.
"Ready for intervals?" I call out and she nods. "Your goal is to hit 95% of your max heart rate. We’ll do that for three minutes, recover for three. After four intervals we’re going to max out for five minutes and then finish our ride with a cool down."
