“Why?”
“Because of him, Randy,” I point. Sam’s face is pure happiness as he waves at us. He is so happy, so perfect, and I will do everything to protect him. “If we broke up and you left, you would crush him. Do you understand that?”
“Who says I’m going anywhere?”
“Randy, your life is on frat row, with the parties and the cheerleaders, playing football, living the carefree life.”
He shakes his head and frowns at me. “Who said my life is carefree? You seriously think I don’t have worries? You think I don’t have pressure? Hell, I get it, I am the golden boy of this town, but do you know how much stress comes with that. Sure, I’m not a single mom, but I still have responsibilities, demands, and expectations. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I’m ambitious and focused, and I don’t accept ‘no’ as an answer.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“It’s not fair to label me some carefree jock any more than it’s fair to label you a single mom at college.”
Ouch. I’m surprised by his words, they leave me momentarily speechless, but he is right. Maybe I am labeling him too harshly. I hated being sixteen and pregnant, trying to hide my belly from people’s judgmental looks. “But your life is so much different than mine. What happens when you’re out partying and I have to stay at home with Sam, and you’resurrounded by beautiful women who throw themselves at you, what then?”
“I say no; I do have self-control, you know.”
“It’s easy to say that now, but for how long? Until you get sick of me and move onto the next girl, and I have to pick up the pieces of not only my shattered heart, but that little boy’s broken heart.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry, I know that’s hurtful to say, but have you even had a long-term relationship?”
“No. Have you?” he ask back at me.
“Well, no,” I sheepishly reply.
“Everyone has to start their long-term relationship somewhere. We might as well start ours together.”
“Can you answer me honestly?”
He hesitates. “Sure.”
“Before me… how many different girls would you have in a month?”
His head drops and he slowly shakes his head side to side. “Come on, Rachel, that’s not fair. It doesn’t matter—it’s in the past.”
“Answer me.”
“I don’t know…maybe… four or five.”
“Five a month?” I breathe out. “Holy shit. I haven’t been with five guys total.”
He looks up at me with those brown eyes. “Really?”
I ignore his question. “Do you see why this worries me?”
“So because I have a past,” he says quietly, “I don’t get a future?”
“It’s not really a past, though, is it, Randy? It’s right now. You probably had girls hitting on you today.”
He leans forward, looking deep into my eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since you. Since the night of New Year’s whenyou straddled me, sent me to heaven, and made me shatter below you.”
I shy from his words, my mind racing back to that night. “Really?” I ask in total disbelief.
“Really, and I won’t. No one else, just you, Rachel,” he says, looking deep into my eyes.
If I wasn’t sitting, I’m sure my legs would have given out on me, hearing his words of assurance. “You’re not going to have sex with anyone other than me, ever?” I repeat, seeking confirmation.
