She pulls her hand free and steps back.
My arm falls heavily to my side. It wants to reach out, to make her stay.Please don’t go, Ever.
“I can’t. I have to go.” She turns and runs toward the stairs leading back to Ashley’s.
I watch her until the night swallows her shadow, and still I stare at the spot until I regain my composure. Until I walk back up to the house with no one the wiser that I’m disintegrating into a million pieces.
Chapter 21
Everly
Ican’t go back into the cottage and I don’t want to chance running into someone in the main house. I just need a minute to compose myself. The motion sensor lights kick on the moment I step into the yard. Glancing around the pool, I spot one lounge chair at the far end that sits just beyond the reach of the glow and collapse on it before the dam breaks. Seeing him, touching him, breaks my heart all over again. I cry for everything we were, everything we lost and everything we never got to be.
Pulling my knees to my chest, I weep quietly into my arms, except for the heaving breaths I take. I don’t hear him approach, but I feel his presence like a physical touch.
“Ever.” He crouches near the chair and touches my hair.
I lean into it automatically.
His fingers graze my cheek, then his hand cups the side of my face, searing my skin.
God, I miss him.I turn into the contact; my lips kiss the soft skin in the center of his palm. He hisses a breath like the touch burns him,too. I don’t fight him when he scoops me up like I weigh nothing and takes my place with me in his arms. Maybe I knew he’d come. Maybe I wanted him to. I should stand up, walk away, keep my boundaries. I know this. I study this. But nothing and no one will ever feel as good as he does. With his arms around me I feel loved. Cherished. Safe. I curl into him and press my face into the crook of his neck, my body shaking with the force of my sobs.
“Shhh, sweet girl. Please don’t cry. I’ve got you.” His words penetrate my sorrow, my tears.
I’ve got you.I press my lips to his neck, feel his pulse jump at the touch.
He blows an exhale through pursed lips. “Ever.” He says it like a plea, dragging out the end.
I suck on the pulse that thuds under my lips, scrape my teeth across his skin.
“Ugh.” The moan that rumbles in his chest sends a pool of liquid to my center. “Baby, we can’t do this.”
He called me baby.I ignore his words except that one and twist my body until I’m straddling him. Pressing against him, I feel how much he misses me. My lips move from his neck to his ear, my teeth nipping his earlobe.Seven months. Seven months without this and now it’s right here.He’sright here.“Kiss me, Julie.” I capture his cheeks in my hands and pull his lips to mine.
His shaky exhale kisses my lips instead. He doesn’t pull away but lets his lips rest on mine, our breaths mingling.
I ignore the thoughts screaming through my brain that this is wrong, desperate and a betrayal to all the growth I’ve made over the last seven months. But his words echo, driving them home.
“Ever, it’s been seven months.” His hands rest loosely on my hips. And then, “I’m not sure I have the willpower to resist you.”
His fingers dig into my hips through the lightweight romper I’m wearing. My breath hitches.He won’t resist me.I tilt my head and press my smiling lips to his.
He pulls his head back, but it meets the lounger. With barely an inch between us, he groans and tilts his head the opposite way and plunges his tongue into my mouth.
So sweet. He tastes so sweet.
His fingers dig in almost painfully, then slide around to grip my ass and pull me tight to his lap. Another guttural groan.
Yes! I want this. I want him.Logic be damned.Stupid smart girl, my mind tries again. I ignore it like a woman possessed. I don’t care if it’s irresponsible. I don’t care if we haven’t talked or seen each other in seven months. I don’t care if nothing’s changed. My hands fly to the waistband of his athletic shorts and free him from the constraints of the fabric.
He hisses when my fingers wrap around him and squeeze. “Fuck, Ever. We can’t.” He drags his lips across my jaw to my ear and breathes his half-hearted warning before he kisses my neck, his actions betraying his words. He tries again. “What if someone comes?”
I don’t care. I won’t be denied. I don’t answer him with words and instead, with my free hand, I pull the leg of my romper and thong aside and guide him to my slippery opening.Don’t think. Just feel.Dropping all my weight on him, I let gravity take over and bury him inside me.
His head jerks back, eyes squeezed shut toward the sooty sky. “Ugh.” His long resounding groan is followed by an inhaled hiss. “Fuck. So tight. So wet.” He grunts between each word like it hurts to say them.
Don’t think. Just feel.But one thought sears itself in my brain.Don’t give him time to stop.Panting, I move fast and hard.“Fuck I miss this. Ughng. I’m gonna . . . mmm.” I can tell the moment he gives in to the gravitational pull of our bodies, his fingers curling into my hips almost painfully—deliciously so.
