One hand releases me to reach between us as he presses his thumb to the bundle of nerves above our joined bodies, drawing tiny circles that send me over the edge, convulsing around him, panting audibly. He holds me down tight to him, stills my movement as his own spasms join mine shortly after.
Wrapping his arms around my back, he presses his face to the center of my chest and regulates his breathing. His slow exhales heat my skin.
I regulate my own, running my fingers through the longer tufts of hair on top of his head, cradling him to me. Now that it’s over, reality comes crashing back. We’re on the patio for anyone to see. We haven’t talked in seven months. I blocked him from my phone. The last words I said to him werefuck you. One thing hasn’t changed. What he does to me. How much I want him.Will it always be this way?No other guy has even turned my attention.
Sliding off him, I adjust my clothing and stand up.
He snags my hand before I can walk away. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped.”
“I’m not.” I exhale on the lie and don’t meet his eyes. I feel reckless and immature, like I haven’t made any strides at all. When I do finally look at him, his eyes say it all. He sees the truth in mine.
“Don’t hate me, Ever. I’m sorry I didn’t stop. Please don’t go.” He laces our fingers, squeezing.
“I’m not sure I gave you a choice.” One corner of his mouth inches up, but the crease between his brows deepens. “And I won’t. Just need to . . . clean up.” I toss my chin and point to the poolroom that includes a bathroom.
His eyes follow where I point and he nods and releases my hand.
I return three minutes later to find him sitting on the edge of the lounger, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. I walk up and run my fingers through his hair, scraping my nails along his scalp. I know he likes that.He used to like that.
Taking my hand, he brings my palm to his lips and closes his eyes as he kisses it.
I slide it to his cheek and curl my fingers around his ear.
He lifts his face to look at me. “Thank you, Ever.”
I’m not sure what I expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. Probably not even top ten.
“For what?”Is he thanking me for sex? He can’t be thanking me for sex.You know how when you’re not pissed off but you’re pre-pissed, like you glimpse the pissed off that’s on its way?
“For loving me. I know it wasn’t easy. That I didn’t make it easy.”
Good save.
“I think I just proved that’s not true.”
His bark of laughter makes my eyes crinkle and cheeks lift. He snakes his arm out and sweeps me onto his lap, wrapping his arms tight around me.
I curl my legs under me and snuggle into him just as tightly. When we’re like this I can almost pretend the last seven months neverhappened. But it did. I let myself pretend a little longer because it feels so fucking good to be in his arms again.
Chapter 22
Julian
With her in my lap and her scent swirling around me, my eyes droop and my body goes slack as the balmy night air wraps around us like a blanket. It’s like no time passed, no separation happened. It’s us, like it used to be. I must nod off because I jolt when she starts to pull out of my arms.
“I should go—we should . . . try to get some sleep before tomorrow.” She stands and looks down at me while I scrub my hands over my face to clear the fog.
Twisting to sit on the edge of the chaise, I study my hands barely visible in the dark and decide to be honest. Heart slamming in my chest, I take a shaky breath and blurt, “God, I missed you.”
Her hand touches the top of my head and fingers lace through my hair. “I know. Me too.”
When she pulls it back, I reach for it. “I . . . don’t want to let you go. Stay with me.”
“What, like right here? Outside?”
“Or my room. Or yours?” I look up on the last word and she presses her hand to my cheek.
“We probably shouldn’t. It’s a big day tomorrow.” Her smile says the opposite of her words.
