“Of course, Miss Davis.”
“Sean, I told you to just call me Ever.”
His eyes crinkle in the rearview mirror, and he nods but doesn’t correct himself.
“What’d they say? Never mind. I hope I didn’t put you in a weird spot.”
“Not at all, Miss . . . Ever. I’m available whenever you need me. That’s my job.”
I smile at his reflection for using my first name—the name I want everyone to call me now. It’s my name and I like it. I can make itmyname, not the name I have because of . . .him. I push his image from my mind. I frown out the window, but the rushing scenery pulls mylips up. “The weather is crazy beautiful down here.” I’m not running away—again—at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I’m starting my life. The life I was supposed to live before I moved to Blue Lake. Maybe a life attending Pepperdine. That’s what I hope to figure out with Allie and Ashley. My heart thuds faster the closer we get to Malibu. I hope it’s okay that I need an adult right now—a real adult. Allie has never made me feel like a burden. Neither has Ashley for that matter. That guy is either a saint or not human. No wonder he captured Allie’s heart. I’ve never seen or heard of her so much as date anyone my whole life. That she utterly fell for him speaks volumes. Though asking for help is foreign to me, asking Allie and Ashley doesn’t bring the level of dread it would were it anyone else. Good thing, because we’re rolling through the gates now and it’s crunch time.
***
“Ineed a change. That’s the simplest way to describe it. I still want to focus on fitness and psychology. I still want to work for ASH . . . if you’ll have me.”
“That’s not even a question.” Ashley curves his arm around Allie’s shoulders and smiles at me before he looks down at Allie questioningly.
“Of course, Ev. Whatever you need. I’ve always told you that. What’s mine is yours. All the Davis girls. You’re my family.” Allie wraps her arms around Ashley’s waist and squeezes as he kisses her temple.
I ignore the stabbing pain in my chest at seeing the open display of affection. I lower my eyes and focus on my fidgeting hands, take aslow deep breath and look up, bouncing my eyes between them.I can do this. I’m Kyle Davis’s daughter.I tuck in the hurt, smile and say, “I should have all my Gen Ed out of the way in a few months. Got any sway over Pepperdine?” One cheek lifts and my brows rise on my forehead as I pin Ashley with a calm stare I don’t quite feel inside.
“What’s the saying? ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.’” He winks as he says it. “We’ll see what we can do.” His smile reassures me, calms me for real. “Would you want to live here with us? The dorms? We’ve got an empty cottage we could renovate for you.”
“I honestly don’t want to be a burden. I’ll pay rent. I’ll work for you. Whatever I need to do. I just need a change.”
“You already said that,” they say in unison, then laugh at their timing, gazing at each other.
I stamp down the urge to roll my eyes. Nausea replaces the chest pain. I’m going to need distance from anylovey-doveyshit for a while. I force a smile back to my lips. It feels plastic on my face. I hold it long enough to let their moment pass. “The cottage? Just so I’m not in the way,” I lie. “But you don’t have to renovate it. I’m sure it’s perfect the way it is.”
“It’s actually storage for the content studio. So, yes, we will fix it up for you. It would be our pleasure. Right, babe?” He kisses her on her forehead as she readily agrees.
I turn my back and swallow the rising bile. Blinking, I keep the welling tears at bay.Please let me hold it together.“Can I . . . take one of the guest rooms for now? Freshen up, maybe take a quick nap?”
“Of course. Take whichever one you want. Let me help you with your bags.”
“Thanks, I got it.” That I can fit my whole life into two suitcases almost breaks me. That stops now. I let Allie take one of the bags from my hand. I’m going to build a life for myself. Here. One with roots, where I feel like I belong. Where no one can take it away from me.
Once Allie sets my other bag on the ground, she squeezes my shoulder.
I’m not facing her and I don’t turn as the first tear spills. “I just need a minute. I’ll be okay.”
“Take as much time as you need.” She lets go. Her muted footsteps on the carpet turn to soft taps on the hardwood of the hallway.
“Thank you, Allie, for not . . . for just letting me show up here.” My response is the door closing softly behind me. I take two steps, fall face down on the soft lavender comforter and bawl my insides out. I sob until my head pounds like a thousand tiny hammers across my forehead. My face feels puffy, my limbs feel weighted, my eyelids almost swollen shut.
Before I pass out from sheer exhaustion, I note the colors of the room. Nothing is blue. It still gives coastal vibes but with lavender, sandy beige and soft yellows. It’s a different kind of peaceful. I inhale and exhale deeply, once, twice. I’ll be okay. Kyle Davis’s daughter is always okay. My dad’s image swims into my mind. He wasn’t home a lot, but I remember his hugs. Warm. Strong. Safe. A shaky sob escapes my lips, which sends a furious pounding to my temples. I can’t cry anymore. My head is screaming at me to the point of making me want to hurl.I miss you, Dad.I don’t know if that thought that slams into my brain is accurate though. I miss him, sure, but I think I miss how simple things were when he was alive. At least they felt that way to me as a kid. I’m sure there was a lot of stress I never noticed at my age withhim being deployed a lot. To me, though, I was loved by a mom and a dad and had a good home and a sister I idolized. Looking back, it felt . . . easy. Easier than this, for sure. I pet the soft velvety duvet, swiping my hands back and forth until the weight of my grief and my pounding post-cry headache pull me under.
Chapter 15
Everly
Six Months Later
“Igot in?”
“You got in.” Ashley throws his arms around me and hugs me. What’s weird is it doesn’t feel weird. I’ve gotten used to his touchy-feely personality.Physical touch is important for the immune system.He wore me down over the last six months.
“I’m sure it had nothing to do with your generous donation.” I quirk my eyebrow at him, but my smile hurts my cheeks. I’m freakin’ stoked Pepperdine accepted me as a transfer student.
