The heat of his breath meets the heat of my already hardened bud through the thin fabric of my thong. Pulling it aside, he wraps his lips around me on a low groan.
My moan matches his the second I feel the suction of his mouth. “Ugh.” Water in a desert indeed. His touch is a baptism washing over me. “Yes, Julie. Please.”
He pauses long enough to answer me. “I know, sweet girl. Me too.” With a tug, the string of my thong snaps and his groan sends a rush to my already dripping center. His fingers are sliding into me now, filling me, and I’m not sure anything has ever felt better.
I pull the tufts of hair on his forehead that tease the skin of my belly as his kisses devour me while his fingers drive me higher. He crooks his middle finger and that’s all it takes. I erupt and cry his name, holding his lips tight to me, my body throbbing.
As my body comes down from the orgasm, he lays his cheek on the soft skin of my belly and slowly removes his fingers from inside me. Itry to move to lie beside him but he clamps his arms around me and just holds on so tight. I find my voice. “Julie.” I pet his hair, and he swipes his cheek against my stomach, the dampness unmistakable. I shift my weight and roll till he’s flat on his back and I’m draped over him. He’s naked. I don’t remember him taking off his pants. I slide my body down until I feel his hard-on against the vee of my thighs.
Grabbing my hips, he stops my motion.Is he not going to make love to me?That thought extinguishes the afterglow of my orgasm. I reach for his hands, lace our fingers, and flop them onto the bed at the same time as I drop my weight onto his erection, burying him inside me. The swift motion and the sensitivity of my insides from my orgasm rip a cry from my throat and a grunt from his. I squeeze my eyes shut at the intensity. I lift myself and do it again, this time watching him.
His eyes are glassy but they stay on mine.
I set a fast, wicked pace, afraid to give him time to stop me. I don’t free his hands and he doesn’t try. I’m determined and a little angry. He lets me ride him until I feel him swell inside me, stretching me, and his breaths grow shallow.
The crease on his forehead tells me he’s close. Still he watches me. Our skin slaps together with each thrust. Him letting me drive, control our pace, is reigniting the flame in me.
I’m going to come.
“Ugh, fuck, Ever.”
His groan and his words send me over the edge. I’m convulsing around him, coming again.
He tugs his hands free of mine and shoves me down on him one more time, holding my hips tight while he empties himself deep insideme. “Ugh, ungh, mmm.” He closes his eyes now as he pants through the rest of his orgasm.
I collapse, my cheek resting on his chest, and catch my breath, tracing my fingernails up and down his bicep. I could stay like this all night, but almost right away he’s rolling us to our sides, scooting away from me. I reach for him, but he dodges my touch.
“I . . . I’ll be right back.” He kisses my forehead, gets up, grabs his clothes and walks to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 13
Julian
I’m a piece of shit. My actions are proof I don’t deserve her. I couldn’t keep my hands off her. That hasn’t changed since we met. She’s better off without me, but I can’t stay away from her. My bullshit life could’ve gotten her killed. When I thought Taya died, it almost killed me. If anything happened to Ever, I wouldn’t survive it. I can’t shake that she could’ve been seriously hurt or worse. That she was taken by gunpoint, threatened, alone, scared. Because of me. Just being with me puts her at risk. I thought I left it all behind, made myself good, but I can’t outrun where I come from—what I came from.
Now it’s like every time I touch her, I taint her, the perfection of her, with my cursed DNA. She deserves better than some damaged trailer trash like me. At the very least, she deserves to be safe from harm. That only happens if she’s not with me. But I’m fucking shameless and don’t know how to let her go. We’re tiptoeing around each other because I don’t have the balls to send her away for good. She needs to be far away from me. Far away from here.
Blue Lake used to mean a fresh start, peace and possibilities. Southy is too close, though. Hell, any place in this tiny county is too close. She deserves to go away to college and live a life of frivolity and fun. Not guns, trailer parks and drugged-out degenerates. I’ve gotta let her go. I’m a fucking asshole that I just made love to her and now I plan to go out there and tell her to leave. Staring at the pale, sunken face in the mirror, I will myself to do it—push my clenched fists off the edge of the countertop, turn around and walk out of here and end my life as I know it.
I always knew she was too good to be true. I always knew it would come down to losing her. Didn’t I? Because that’s what Jayce Keller deserves. Nothing and no one. I can change my name, build a career and make more money than I know what to do with, but I can’t change who I really am. Todd showed me that, proved beyond a doubt that underneath it all, I’m just like him,her. A guy in handcuffs, kneeling in the dirt lot of a trailer park in a nothing town. Knocking my fists against the cool white tiles, I resolve myself to do what I must. What’s right. With one last look in the mirror I turn and open the door.
She’s sitting on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom, legs dangling, feet bare, toes barely touching the floor. Dressed in a fresh bra and thong, but her eyes are downcast, hands fidgeting with what’s left of her thong—the one I tore off her. I ignore the rush of blood to my junk at seeing it and her like this. She’s so fucking beautiful—even when she’s sad. Maybe more so. I glance over her head at the rumpled bed and yearn to rewind back to that moment, stay in it forever. I blink away the pressure behind my eyes and steel my spine. She’s going to hate me. I close my eyes on a long blink.
When I open them, she’s watching me, sees the truth in mine before I utter a word. I speak anyway. “I need to catch up on some work, so I’m gonna skip the bonfire.”
“Hmph. Sure. Fine.” She throws the torn fabric on the floor and stands, locking her hands on her hips. “You know what? Not fine.” She rakes her fingers through her hair and begins pacing in front of me. Her long limbs graceful despite her fury.
I brace for the tirade. I deserve it. On some level, I welcome it. The pain of unmet needs and desires feels familiar although I didn’t have a name for it most of my life.
Whirling to face me, she points in my face. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Julian. At least have the balls to tell me the truth. I think I deserve that.” Her hands land back on her hips, her chest and abs rippling as she huffs.
Captivating.She would kill me if she knew the train of my thoughts. I shake my head to stay on track. “Fine. I don’t want to go.” I hold my hands out to my sides, palms up.
“That’s a lie, too. You already told me you love this event. You’ve planned it with Allie since you came to Blue Lake.”
“Things change.” I arch my brow in challenge. Why am I provoking her?Because then she’ll do the heavy lifting for you. Because you’re a pussy. A coward.
“Things? Or you?” She arches hers back at me.
