Once he’s through the door and it clangs shut, metal door against metal frame, I exhale. I wash my hands again, to give myself a minute—regulate my pulse, my breathing.
“There he is,” Seth calls. The three of them walk toward me, fresh beers in hand, as I emerge from the bricked structure.
Relief washes over me that they were hopefully off buying beer while Todd exited the bathroom.
“We grabbed another beer since you took so long.” Taya’s smile is lazy, buzzed.
I look around, my head on a swivel, before I make eye contact with Ever. I don’t want to lie to her, but I know I’m going to just the same. “There, uh, was this old drunk guy in there that needed help. Did you guys see him come out?” I look around again, my story making my survey reasonable. I force a smile.
Ever giggles and follows my searching gaze with her own. “No, I think we must’ve been getting our drinks. Wanna sip?” She’s in my space, her gray eyes smiling into mine, her lips parted, showing her teeth.
Still scanning the crowd, I look over her shoulder, both ways. No Todd. I exhale and will my body to relax. “Yeah, sweet girl, I do.” Instead of taking her cup, I lean in and kiss her lips, sucking on them a little.
“Ugh, get a room,” Taya groans. Her teasing lands as normal, not awkward like I’d expect.
“We’ve got one,” I say low, more for Ever’s ears, as my hand slides down to cup her ass, my nose nuzzling that sweet spot behind her ear. Her tinkling laugh is my reward, her head leaning into mine, wanting more. Louder for the group, I ask, “Can we be done with the carnival now? I think I’ve had enough of Southy’s finest.” That much is true and plays perfectly into my story of the drunk towny.
“Are you kidding me? We haven’t even ridden the Ferris wheel yet,” Seth protests, guzzling his beer.
“Ugh,” Taya fake groans again. “I’ll take surfer boy on the Ferris wheel. You two can . . . stand around and kiss some more.” She rolls her eyes, flicking her hand at us with a cheek-splitting grin on her face, belying her indignance.
“Deal.” Ever and I say it in unison, then laugh at our timing.
“C’mon, Seth. Let’s get this over with.” She bumps her shoulder with his.
“Damn. You townies are ruined for the carnival.” He slings his arm over her shoulders, shaking his head, as they walk in front of us toward the rides.
I reach for Ever’s free hand, lacing our fingers, my eyes still scanning the crowd as we walk. I tell myself he’s gone, that I’d feel someone watching me—us. I let go of her hand and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to kiss her temple.Sunshine.I can’t not hold her close, especially after running into him. If he is watching, he’ll know. He’ll see it’s her, not Taya.
Despite my best efforts, Ever feels my body stiffen. She’s so attuned to me. Still, she doesn’t get why. It wouldn’t occur to her, as it shouldn’t.
“You okay, Julie? You really do hate the carnival, don’t you?” Her head is turned, studying my profile as we walk.
“Eh, I just don’t prefer South Point. Grew up here, remember?” I give her a close-lipped smile, going for a little bit of honesty. She deserves that.
She nods at my answer.
“Okay, one ride for the guest. Then we’re outta here.” She nods like she’s solved all the world’s problems.
I kiss her upturned nose and rub mine against hers. We turn and watch the giant wheel begin to rotate, Seth and Taya rising in the air while Seth looks all around like a happy little kid. Taya’s laugh filters down to us, the sound so achingly familiar, like this place. It all puts a weird pit in my stomach. So I focus on the one thing that keeps me tethered to the here and now.Ever.I drop my chin to the side and press my nose into my favorite spot behind her ear. Her scent is the magic elixir that calms me, grounds me.Sunshine and Ever.I can’t wait to get her out of this shit hole they call a town. Away from the dumpster fire of memories that assault my brain. An involuntary shiver rolls down my body.
“Cold?” Ever moves to stand in front of me, her back to my chest, so I wrap my arms around her and continue to nuzzle her neck.
“Mmm, maybe a little,” I lie.
She reaches her palm up to my neck and pulls my head into her more as she sips her beer.
The smell of it reminds me of Todd and turns my stomach a bit. I breathe through my mouth. “They’re almost done.” I’m counting the rotations even though I have no idea how many one ride includes. The counting keeps the low-level panic at bay, although I still scan the crowd.
“Ayo, fam,” Noah calls out. He and Lilly join us as Taya and Seth whirl past in their cabin, waving exaggeratedly. “Aww, the children are enjoying themselves,” Noah mocks.
“Well, Seth is,” Ever responds. “I think Taya is tolerating it, aided heavily by beer.” Ever’s sweet laugh penetrates my nervous haze.
“Yeah, beer definitely raises the allure of this shit show.” Lilly taps her plastic cup against Ever’s and takes a long sip.
“You and J Mac . . . vibe killers,” Noah scoffs, shaking his head.
Ever giggles again, telling me she’s feeling her beers.
