“Hitting the head,” I announce to Seth as we pass the bricked building marked restrooms. To Ever and Taya, I call, “Take it easy on Seth while I’m gone.”
“We make no promises,” Taya tosses over her shoulder as she steps up to the water guns race.
Washing my hands in the men’s room, a voice behind me sends ice through my veins and shoves my heartbeat into my throat.
“Must be my lucky day. Been lookin’ for you and here you are.”
I turn off the water and roll my weight onto the balls of my feet. As I raise my eyes from the sink basin to the mirror and the reflection behind it, a cold sweat breaks out under my arms and runs down my ribs. A small victory registers that he looks even older than the last time I saw him almost four years ago, the eyes glassier, skin more sallow. He looks strung out. Shocker.
“Ain’t ya gonna say hi to your old man?”
“Hadn’t planned on it, no. And maybe you couldn’t find me because I didn’t want to be found.” I turn toward the exit, not bothering to look him in the face but clocking him in my periphery as I step to the door. Images of walking the carnival with my parents as a kid and never being able to participate in all thefunflash through my mind.No money for that crap.Yet they pounded beers all night every night the damn carnival was in town, wandering around, dragging me with them until so late into the night I almost passed out on my feet. Probably their idea of good parenting—taking me to a carnival—and probably why I hate this place so fucking much.
“Well, it seems we have something for you. So you may want to talk to me if you expect to get it.”
“Pretty sure you’ve got nothing I want.”
“That’s fine. Happy to keep it for ourselves. Just need you to sign it over.”
Sign it over?“You’re not getting anything from me. So you can forget you saw me.”
“Maybe I’ll just ask your little girlfriend your new address. Pay you a little visit, deliver it personally.”
I stop cold. I don’t want him anywhere near me or anyone I care about. I spin on my heel and move to within an inch of his waxy face.
“Did you forget I know where blondie lives?” He continues his cryptic taunting with a sneer that shows yellow teeth to match his skin, the stench of stale cigarettes and alcohol drifting from cracked lips to slither into my nostrils.
Blondie. Taya.He doesn’t know about Everly. My relief is short-lived. “I’ll catch her at home one of these days.”
He’s been to her house.The realization draws my shoulders down and drops my chin. He was Mitch’s mystery visitor. Exhaling, I close my eyes for a second, maybe two. “Fine, Todd. What do you want?”
His brittle laugh precludes his rebuff. “No way to address yourdad.”
“You’re not my dad. You never were.”
“Well, your momma says different.”
“Takes more than genetics to make someone parents, Todd.” I use his given name again in spite. I don’t know why I’m standing in the men’s room having a pissing contest with this degenerate or even wasting my breath, but I can’t seem to help myself. Maybe I’m stalling, trying to figure out how to get out of here without him seeing Everly or Taya, who are surely waiting outside for me by now. “Where’s Brandi? She here, too?”
“Show some respect, boy. Yourmommais at home. She’ll be happy to see you.”
“First time for everything,” I mumble. For his ears, I add, “Look, my friends are probably waiting for me. I’ll come by tomorrow?” I hate that it comes out like a question, like I’m asking permission.
“Right. You been MIA for years now. I’m supposed to believe that? Maybe we should invite your friends to join us. But you don’t want that, do you? Been ashamed of where you come from since you were born.”
Despite being taller and bigger than him now, my throat bobs as sweat trickles down my spine. He’s spot on that I don’t want Ever, or even Taya, to see Todd—find out who he is, where I come from. Taya’s never even seen the house I grew up in. She knows it’s in the trailer park—small towns. Still, it’s more than just not wanting them toknow. Todd is dangerous. Way worse than my mom. She at least acted like she cared sometimes. He, on the other hand, never did. Maybe it’s just the old tapes playing in my head, muscle memory or whatever, because the man standing in front of me doesn’t look like much. He looks thin and strung out and much smaller than I remember. Pretty sure I could take him, but the little kid inside me feels panicky, uncertain. His eyes are still the same—pupils dilated, cold, black and, if you look close enough, dead. Maybe it’s the eyes triggering my core memories causing the low-key panic that’s tripping my heart rate and making my pits sweat.
“Yeah, well, you two didn’t really give me much to work with.”
“Still an ungrateful pain in the ass.” His laugh sounds like he’s gargling gravel. “Shoulda been a stain on the sheets you ask me. But your momma wanted you—convinced me to let her keep you. Eventually she realized I was right. Good for nothin’ like I always said.” The white globs gathered at the corners of his mouth turn my stomach.
One side of my mouth lifts as my gaze shifts between his beady bloodshot eyes. He always controlled her as far back as I can remember. His hateful words ricochet ineffectively. I’ve heard it all before, and maybe it’s true but I don’t care. All I care about is getting him out of here, away from Ever before he sees her. And getting out of here myself without them wondering what the fuck is taking me so long. “Still your favorite bedtime story. Glad to see some things don’t change.”
“And you’re still a smartass. Think you’re better than everyone else.”
“Look, I said I’d come over and take care of whatever it is and I will. I’ll give you whatever you want, okay?” I hate that I sound desperate,scared. “But I can’t tonight, while I’m here with a group. You need my help, I’ll give it to you.”
“That’s more like it.” He turns toward the door, and my shoulders sink a little in relief. Before he pulls the door open, he adds, “Tomorrow, Jayce, or I’ll come looking for you.”
