I never want this to end. I want to continue feeling him all around me, forever. Well, obviously, I can’t have sex with him 24/7, but I feel like with every day we spend with each other, with every smile he directs at me, and with every time he fucks me, our bond gets stronger.
I briefly taste iron on my tongue, but am too far gone to bother.
“…Gwen…”
Hmmm… I nuzzle my nose against his neck.
“Gwen, babe.” Felix takes my face between his hands, pulling me away slightly.
Not nice. I want to smell him a bit longer. “Is something wrong?” I mutter tiredly.
“No,” Felix grins. “But maybe look at my neck.”
I furrow my brows, blinking my eyes open to look at him first. What’s he getting at? But he just keeps smiling brightly like the sun. I tear my gaze from his eyes to his neck, only to feel my world pause for a moment.
A fucking long moment!
“WHAT?” I exclaim. “How… what… I…” I take a deep breath, suddenly feeling fully awake again. “I marked you!”
“You did,” Felix says cheerfully. “See, I told you! Definitely half wolf.”
“But how?” I demand. “She still doesn’t talk to me!” I try to feel for my wolf. Since I became part of his pack and Felix marked me, I was able to feel her existence more, unlike previously, when it felt like she didn’t exist at all. However, I still can’t talk to her. “She is still simply a fleeting existence inside me.”
“Yes, maybe,” Felix says. “But she exists. Maybe when you allowed yourself to relax and give in to your urges, she was able to take advantage of the moment-“
“-and mark you,” I conclude.
She is here; she clearly exists. And she came forward to mark our mate! Even if this is all I will ever hear or see from her, I am happy. This one thing has truly put my mind at ease.
I drop down onto my back, next to him, smiling when he pulls me into his arms. I am so happy he remembers I like to cuddle and feel him close after the high of having sex, finally dozing off into a much-needed sleep after a long day.
I wake up to the sun slowly starting to rise. We forgot to let down the blinds last night. But it doesn’t really matter. I am still cradled in Felix’s arms, feeling the warmth of his body, while I watch the sun rising.
It’s so peaceful. I am feeling loved, cherished and safe.
And happy.
As if on cue, my chest clenches, cold gripping my heart. I am happy. Why am I happy? I shouldn’t be when everything around me is still in flames. I can feel the change in mood, so suddenly it almost takes my breath away.
“Gwen!” Felix sounds alarmed. He stirs, sitting up and cradling me in his arms. “Gwen, babe! What’s happening? Are you hurt?”
“No, it’s just-“ I cling to him, letting him hug me to his chest. I feel so safe there. “I was just so happy. I was so happy that I forgot everything else.”
One of Felix’s hands brushes through my hair before resting on my back, rubbing it gently. “Okay,” he says softly. “You are talking about Marina.”
I can’t fucking believe how easily he was able to read me. He must believe I am a complete lunatic. We just had an amazing night, and here I am dragging it all down again. His free hand brushes over my face.
He doesn’t look exasperated or mad, but he should be.
“For a moment, I forgot.” The guilt is almost suffocating me. It has its grip tightly around my heart. “She is in the infirmary, miserable, and I am here-“
“Gwen,” Felix says, sounding more serious than usual. When I look at him, there is still the same warmth around him and in his eyes, but his expression is earnest. “You did nothing wrong. You are allowing yourself to continue living your life. I don’t know the person Marina was before, but if you call her a friend, she must have been an amazing person. You were there for Marina - all the time. I am convinced that she always knew it. And I bet the part of her that might still be with us knows; she knows you brought her child to safety. Her health started to deteriorate right at that moment, didn’t it?”
“Yes,” I say quietly.
“I don’t believe it’s a coincidence. She was holding out so long until she knew you and Faye were safe. And it’s all thanks to you. You managed to save Faye because you were smart, persistent and empathic. Now she can finally let go and rest in peace.”
“I never saw it that way,” I mutter. “Rationally, I know that it’s true. I also know that I need to let her go.” I pause, tears filling my eyes. “Sometimes, I even wish she would leave, so that the whole misery could come to an end. I am a horrible person!”
