“Star…”
“That’s not my name.”
“Besides, you’re one to talk.”
“Fucking Rusty. That was survival. You don’t know the half of what they did to me down there…”
“… In the rabbit hole,” he completed my sentence.
“Or did you know?”
“I didn’t want to know. I was a coward. But the thing that scared me the most is that they’d kill you if I made a wrong move. If I didn’t do all of dad’s bidding. You know they would have.”
“I wanted to die. I wanted to kill them all. Even you. Rusty, he got between me and all that blind rage.”
“You sawed his balls off with a butter knife.” He laughed about it like it was the funniest thing ever.
It wasn’t funny. I butchered a man for what he did to me. For what they all did to me. It was one of the things on my long list of shit I chose not to think about.
Snakebite still snickered.
“Stop laughing at me.”
He became serious. “I wasn’t even talking about you. I was talking about your boy, Cowboy.” He’d said his name like it pained him.
“Cowboy?”
“Yeah. His hands aren’t clean.”
I stared at him, wondering what on earth he was talking about. What could he possibly know about Cowboy?
“You don’t know. You never know what’s going on, do you? You’re lucky I haven’t killed him myself, yet.”
“Why?”
“You don’t remember? Oh, Halley, baby. Are you in there today? Let me take you back. We’re in the Devil’s Den, you and me. We sneak into the bathroom.” He smiles at me. “You… you take my breath away… I’m planning a way to get you alone that weekend. I want to get you out of there for good. I never wanted to be leader of the freaks. But who busts in. The Gods. Who got killed?”
I remembered. “Little Betty Boop.” When I said it, I could picture her in a halo of blood, limp in Viper’s arms. The sound of a mother’s greatest sorrow rang in my ears.
“Yeah, don’t you know who the young fuck who pulled the trigger was?”
“Not Cowboy…” I felt sick at the thought.
“Ask him.”
Snakebite left before the agents dropped Cowboy off.
“I haven’t seen him,” I lied to the two about Snakebite.
“Okay, I guess we’re off to Arizona,” I overheard the man tell the woman.
“Why would they be going to Arizona?” I asked Cowboy when they left.
“You want the truth?” He asked, with wet eyes.
“Of course,” I said, although I prepared myself for the worse.
“You might want to sit down.” I felt again like I would hurl. I sat.
