“Rafe told me before, that you saved his life. Will you tell me what happened?” I asked randomly. I just realised how little I knew about this rare and wonderful oddity of a man, with whom I was rapidly forming a bond. He knew so much about me. I just wanted something of him.
“There’s not much to tell,” he said flatly. “I was in the right time at the right place.”
“There’s more to it than that, Dante,” I pushed. “Tell me, please. Was your Dad involved?”
“Yeah,” he laughed, but with no humour. “That bastard was definitely involved.”
“Enzo, right? He was your Dad? That man gave me the creeps.” My words were followed by in involuntary shudder at just thereminder of Marcello’s right hand man, who had been the boogie man of my early childhood.
“He wasn’t a man. He was a fucking demon,” Dante spat angrily. He adjusted his grip around me, so he was holding me even more securely against him.
“That’s why you joined the military, wasn’t it? To escape him. Cal mentioned something about it.”
“Yeah. Enzo…he started training me young, to become him. From the day I was born he had my future mapped out. I would take his position in the family, serve Marcello, and then Rafe when the time came. Murder, torture, enhanced questioning, kidnapping. If it’s bloody and violent, I was taught to do it before I even hit my teens.”
“Jesus, Dante.” Now it was me trying to pull him closer as I felt his body tense up against me.
“I knew it wasn’t the life I wanted, but I had no choice. Enzo would have killed me if I went against him. He’d already driven my mother to kill herself with his violence and abuse. I refused to allow him to have that power over me. So I went along with it…played my part. Until I turned sixteen. The day after my birthday, I set off for school as usual and went right to the Army recruiting office. I had the forms I needed and I had forged Enzo’s signature on them. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was a way to escape the life I was groomed for.”
“How long did you serve?” I asked.
“Six years. It wasn’t a great fit for me. I don’t do well with authority, but I learned to adapt, and I worked my way through the ranks. I found a team that became the closest thing I’d everknown to family, at that point in my life. We worked special ops missions, and we were good.”
“It sounds dangerous.”
“It was, but I needed that. I lived for the adrenaline. Danger, and chaos, it helped me block out my history and find some peace. The focus I needed to complete our operations, it centred me like nothing else ever had. Until it all went to shit. I got caught in an explosion as we were wrapping up a job. Brain injury got me honourably discharged.”
“I’m sorry, Dante. What about your team?”
“Rann, the guy I was working with, was killed. The rest of the team managed to get me out, but after I was discharged, I never heard from them again. They blame me for Rann dying. They should. I blame me!” he ground out, slamming his eyes closed, like he was fighting to hold back the pain of it all.
“Why would they blame you? Did they tell you that?” I demanded, angry for him.
“It was my fault. I sent Rann into the building to clear up the last of our equipment. I should have gone. I was the team lead. I should have died, not him. He had a wife waiting for him. No one was waiting for me!”
“Dante, no!” I snapped as I pushed against him. He released his arms from around me easily, and lay back at the side of me. He seemed to move away from me like he had expected me to push him away. He covered his face with his hands as he lay there, and it physically hurt me, my chest tightening, to see his pain.
I didn’t hesitate any longer, throwing my leg over his waist so I was straddling him, then I leaned over him and pulled his hands from his face.
“What are you…?” I didn’t let him finish as he looked to me with confusion.
“Do not ever say or even think that again. I was waiting for you, Dante, okay? This family was waiting for you! Maybe we didn’t know it yet, but if you had….” I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words. “…if we didn’t have you, what would have happened to us all, huh? I’m pretty sure Rafe would have died, if you weren’t there to save him. Arran and Cal wouldn’t even be here. Marcello would have ruined Gia’s life, and I…I’d have found my mother dead and I’d have had no one! Rafe would never have answered my call. I wouldn’t be here now. I’d probably be dead.” I cried.
“Don’t say that! No one will take you from me!” he rumbled as he reached up and grabbed me, pulling me down so I lay on top of him.
“But that’s the point. If you had…had d-died, you wouldn’t be here to protect me. No one would. You lived because we all needed you, Dante. We were waiting for you, damn it!” I growled emotionally.
Dante didn’t reply, but he did seem to think about what I had said as he just lay there, silent and holding me tight, while I swiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I killed him,” he whispered after a while, so quietly I only just caught it.
“Who?” I asked as I pushed up so I could see his face.
“Enzo. My father,” he replied. “After I got out and was released from the hospital I found an apartment in London and got a job working private security with a guy I knew from my time in Iraq. I was fucked up. My brain injury changed everything – the way I thought, worked, even ate and slept. I found it hard to focus and concentrate at times. I was able to do my job, but outside of that, I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I didn’t know who I was for a while.”
“Did that get better?” I asked.
“The brain injury didn’t. I just learned to live with it, and eventually, I discovered who I was again. I wasn’t the same person, but I made peace with who I am now. I’m not so bad, am I?” he asked me with just the hint of a smile. It was so unlike him to show such vulnerability, that it took me aback.
