And yet, my gut soured.
Probably because he’d just rubbed in my face that what Harthon had done to me last night, he’d done with others.
But somehow, Merelda found no issue with the information, because she cheekily said, “Well, it only means he has a wealth of experience to pull from. An advantage, if you ask me.”
Chapter 15
Ididn’t get to indulge in more of Harthon’sexperiencethat night. He was so occupied, I never even saw him.
And I didn’t care about it one bit as I hugged Merelda in the torchlit stables the next morning, the scents of sweet hay and horse enveloping us.
“You’ll need to let go eventually,” she remarked, rubbing my back.
This was the longest hug in existence, but I didn’t care. Harthon and the others would have to wait.
“I don’t like leaving you.” My voice was muffled by her hair.
“It’s what you must do.” She forcibly drew away and cupped my face. “Besides, I have Marsik here to keep me company and Callen to protect me.”
Behind her, Callen nodded in reassurance. “Merelda and I are going to have a grand old time while you’re gone.”
While I was nervous about how few men we were bringing with us, I was glad that Callen wasn’t one of them. Though I’d never admit it, I was also reassured by North staying behind, too. He was terrible, but he was damn effective in a fight. Between the two of them, Merelda would be safe in the Citadel. It also helped that I was leaving, taking any future threats to my life with me. Frankly, she was better off here without me.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I told her, my breath forming a cloud in the cool air.
“No.” She gave me a surprisingly strong shake for her age. “You’ll be back when you’ve done what you need to do, even if it takes longer than expected. And you won’t feel guilty about me in the meantime.”
I wouldn’t allow it to take longer than expected.
Merelda knew me too well to think that her statement had convinced me. She shook me one more time. “Imeanit, Etarla. You are the key to saving this world. Don’t come back until you’ve done just that. Promise me.”
I didn’t want to.
But I couldn’t say no to her.
“I promise.” Then, because I couldn’t stand to leave on such a tense note, I added, “As long as you promise not to fondle Callen’s muscles or bat your eyes at any soldiers while I’m gone. I can’t return to that kind of embarrassment.”
She laughed, the sound beautifully melodic. “I suppose I can make that sacrifice for you.”
I laughed a little, too, though it was more of an effort to prevent myself from crying.
Merelda pulled me close for one more hug, and with a strained exhale, stepped away before I could keep her there forever. “I love you, Etarla.”
“I love you, too.”
Callen stepped in and patted my shoulder. “Hey, Fish Eyes, get that worry off your face. You’re hurting my very delicate feelings, implying that she won’t have a good time here with me.”
I half-heartedly batted his hand away. “I’m not concerned about her having a good time. I’m concerned for her sanity.”
“You’ve been spending lots of time in my company, andyoursanity is still intact.”
“According to who?” I was only half-joking.
He laughed, then leaned close to my ear. “I’ve got her, okay? But I need you to havehim.”
Thathimwas busy preparing his horse behind me, giving me a generous amount of privacy and time to say my goodbyes. “I’m pretty sure Harthon can take care of himself.”
“In a fight, yes. But remember the whole ‘just a man’ and ‘Harthon has feelings’ speech I so eloquently gave you? Every person needs someone to have their back. And since I’m not coming, you need to be his person.” It was a genuine request layered in concern.
